Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Magnum Opus

If someone were to ask me today what is your greatest life's work?

I would answer with a heart full of humility and love and gratitude and thanksgiving.

And I would show you a picture of the most beautiful gift of grace on earth.

It is my first born gift. My darling Macey Girl.

The one whom I've loved and raised and adored and been blessed by for twenty two years.

Twenty two years ago on this very day.

The one whom the Lord entrusted me with at the tender age of eighteen years old.

We all know that at eighteen years old, there is still much knowledge to gain.

But He entrusted me anyway.....grace made manifest.

When I think back about how scared to death I was, but at how the Lord, whom I did not know,
filled me with a courage that was not from this world, to push through the truckloads of adversity, it is absolutely overwhelming to me.....
How we walked through and managed and struggled and still somehow by His grace, pushed through...

The pointing of the finger by many.

The rejection.

The judgment.

The heartbreak.

The loneliness.

The abandonment of every, single, high school friend, save one.

It's easy to create when everyone loves you.

To create a masterpiece when everyone is for you.

To create something beautiful when everyone is cheering you on.

 It is about nearly impossible to create anything when everyone is against you.

To grow a beautiful child in heartbreaking conditions...."impossible" they told me.

"Those two will never make it", they said behind my back. 

She is just "white trash", they said.

Having a child out of wedlock is a sin, you know.

You will end up just being "a statistic". The two of you "don't have a chance", they said.

The judgment alone we walked through day after day after day, in the middle of the bible belt, with a church on every corner, mind you, was enough to send one into an early grave.

And there were days that I didn't want to stand any more. I couldn't stand any more.

And then here she would come, with great, big, chocolate, brown eyes and the sweetest disposition on earth, and I would melt into a puddle and think to myself , and sometimes I was really brave and would even say it out loud....."Lord, if you really do exist, please Lord, please help us get through this.

"This" was just another Wednesday, when the car didn't start and the lights were cut off, again.

And if I was late to work one more time, I was going to lose my job. And if I didn't pay the day care all the money I owed them, they were not going to allow my baby girl to remain enrolled there.

And the man, whom I thought was going to be my future husband one day, at the time, decided to raise his hand again, sending me right into the emergency room where they proceeded to staple the crown of my head back together.

The very crown of my head, split right in two.

The pieces turned into pieces that become more pieces.

When your heart is in pieces and your life is in pieces and your trust has been broken....into pieces.

It is a divine platform for the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End, the One who is the greatest creator ever known, the ultimate Magnum Opus.....God Almighty, to step right in and take
every, single piece of our life and orchestrate it all together in such a way.....

That twenty two years later, on the very day it all began...

You could stand boldly, with confidence in Him, with a knowing that this, the very thing and circumstance and situation every one said would never be.

This is your Magnum Opus. Your greatest life's work. Your masterpiece.

The very thing you thought was going to be the end of you, because you didn't know or understand
the magnitude of it all.

Macey Mclain.

You are my Magnum Opus. My greatest life's work, by His grace alone.

You are the gift that came to me twenty two years ago, today, at 2:52 p.m. and the only child I've ever given birth to who smiled at me the second they placed you in my arms.

You are the reason I am standing here today. The gift that came to hold me together, when I should have been holding you together.

Each day that goes by I am humbled that you choose me.
That still, after all these years and after many mistakes, you choose a relationship with your very, young mom who is still having babies and raising babies and caring for babies. While all the other Moms are able to show up at college with car loads of surprises and dinners and tickets and such.
And your Mom is wrangling five children somewhere along the Pampers aisle at Target.

What you may not know or understand or be able to comprehend, is that once God formed you, and perfectly created you, and entrusted you into my arms....

It ruined me forever.

I knew from that very moment, that Motherhood, would be my calling.

That Motherhood would be my gift.

That Motherhood, and newborn babies and toddlers and sweet, bouncing little ones, would be the thing that would cause me to go weak in the knees and I would never be able to return to an upright position again.

You were the one whom God chose to use to teach me so many things.....

You were the one who would become the gift of grace made manifest in my own life.

Thank you baby girl.

I am so incredibly proud of you.

For all that you are. For all that you have become.

For all of the incredible, wonderful, amazing gifts and talents you walk in every day.

For that Pastor's heart you were blessed with from day one.

For the radiant beauty that shines from within you.

I love you and adore you more than you will every know.

Happy Birthday baby girl...... the very best is yet to come.

You are living proof of that.

On my knees with thanksgiving today and every day,

Mama Dukes
Romans 8:18

"Are you awake, Charlotte?" he said softly.  "Yes," came the answer.

"What is that nifty little thing?

"Did you make it?" "I did indeed," replied Charlotte in a weak voice.

"Is it a plaything?" "Plaything?" I should say not. It is my egg sac, my magnum opus.

"I don't know what a magnum opus is," said Wilbur.

That's Latin," explained Charlotte. "It means 'great work.'

This egg sac is my great work- the finest thing I have ever made.

~Charlotte's Web


Coastal Health and Home said...

Happy Birthday, Macey!

Blessings to you Sibi!

Rejoice and enjoy this wonderful day.

ms. mindless said...

Happy Birthday to your beautiful Macey!

Katie said...

Oh, so beautiful and moving and touching. Many happy birthday blessings to your precious Macey!

lizziefitz said...

Happy Birthday Macey!!!! You are a beautiful gift to the world!!

paige said...

without a doubt, the most beautiful post i've ever read.
what a powerful powerful testimony you two share.
gosh i love you friend
& i can barely wait to squeeze your neck in person and that macey mclain too!!!

Amber said...

what a beautiful testimony! brings me to tears.

Paige said...

absolutely beautiful!!!! Happy Birthday Macey Mclain!

Tiffini said...

happy birthday
rejoicing with you

Kat said...

Oh my, precious, precious post! Tears streaming... thank you for sharing! Happy birthday to your sweet, baby girl!

Michelle said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet girl! What a beautiful gift our children surely are!!!

Maria said...

This is so special. Happy Birthday to Macey and Happy Day to you, her mother, who loves her deeply.

christan perona said...

Wow. Thank you for your honesty and transparency and rawness. Found you through Paige. So beautiful. All of us - every single one - are created in God's image. Thanks for your using your sweet Macey to shout of God's grace.

Michele said...

A beautiful post to your precious daughter! Happy Birthday Macey! I hope you have a wonderful day. You are blessed with such an amazing Mother.

Cori said...

What a precious post!! Your words always inspire.

Mrs.K loves pink and green said...

Sibi,You words slay me,each and every time.You have no idea how you and your blog has helped to change my life lately.I live in Huntsville,Al.and I have been reading all your posts and I have been going through a particular situation,and you have helped me in ways that only our heavenly Father is aware of.Bless you and your precious family and Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter...Hugs,Elaine

Henley on the Horn said...

Happy Birthday to your beautiful Macey and to her beautiful mother! I am crying!

Alecia said...

Absolutely beautiful....thanking God for His mighty work in your lives...He's bigger than all the nay sayers! Happy Birthday to your beautiful girl.

christina said...

this is so very beautiful. i know this kind of love... from one mother to another, enjoy her, enjoy each and every moment, with her.

visiting via paige on fb.

Gail said...

GRACE....Gods grace is all over you and your baby girl! Happy Birthday, Macey! I love your heart...I love your voice!!!! You are Gods child and proud to shout it and share it!!!! Happy Day, Mama....GREAT JOB!!!!!

Kathie Truitt said...

Happy birthday Macey....incidentally, I had much the same start in life tht you did and I too, had a blessed, happy ending.

Socially Savvy said...

The tears are flowing - this is beautiful and lovely. Thank you for sharing your heart - xoJoy

Unknown said...

Amazingly penned and heartfelt. You are an amazing woman with an amazing daughter. Happy Day to both of you!

Tiffany said...

Beautiful, beautiful,beautiful....
I hope her day was as beautiful as the LOVE in her Mama's words!

I was 18 too...he is 19. My baby is 6. I very much understand this post.