Friday, August 20, 2010

These Two

Wanted to share my heart today about these two.

I won't share for very long because the tears keep me from the keyboard....

I wanted to encourage those of you who are Mothers to precious ones and you may still be waiting on that perfect -made for me - spouse.

Speaking from a place of waiting that was ten years deep.

May I encourage you today? Speaking from someone who believed that she would never meet someone willing. Someone special enough . Someone brave enough. Someone worthy enough to share in the raising of my baby girl. I can't say I even trusted God enough. I didn't.

But it happened. Miraculous. Oh yes. It was. It still is.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't lift my hands and praise The One who blessed me with this beautiful man and this sweet girl. My Macey Girl. My gift given at the tender age of eighteen years.

Don't get me started....

About how much they favor one another. Or about how much they are deeply heart connected. Or about how much they "get each other" and have their very own special connection completely separate from me.

Oh yes. This is how big God is that He would bless me with a husband who not only looked so much like my baby girl, but one who carried the spirit of adoption in his heart for her...... from the beginning.

It's as if we've always been a family.....

They adore each other.

Grateful, thankful me.

I know He will do the same for you....He has that special someone who will love your children with a supernatural love. Who will be that earthly demonstration of His love and pour- and I mean pour onto your children in ways you have never imagined possible...

It's coming dear one. Go ahead and trust Him for it......

Thursday, August 12, 2010

On Being Gathered

So when they were filled, He said to His disciples,
"Gather up the fragments that remain, so that nothing is lost." ~ John 6:12

I love these red letter words that Jesus shared with His disciples.
There is such depth spoken here in glorious red ink.

Why is it that He was so concerned about gathering up the fragments?

Why was He concerned about what was left behind?

Why would Jesus teach His disciples this beautiful lesson?

So that nothing was lost.


I love this scripture. It is one that I am holding close during this season.

I love that He wanted to make sure that nothing was lost.

Did you know that He is concerned about our fragments?

This simple truth is amazing to me.

He can, after all, make all things new.

He can, after all, bring restoration and recompense.

But a God who is deeply concerned about what is left undone......

What has been unraveled.

What has been torn apart and ripped to shreds.

What looks like He may have simply forgotten us.

There is such power in this truth.

I love that He is concerned about the details of my life.

That He has not forgotten about the broken pieces.

The fragments that are lying around that are too big and too painful for me to piece back together.

That The One who created it all is ever mindful about my damaged goods is overwhelming to me.

I love that He is so willing to lean down and put together all the pieces on my behalf.

I am so grateful that He loves me enough to gather me.

When life has broken me into or when I have made a mess of things....

And there are pieces........

You and I, we know about pieces.

We have a Savior.

Who will take His hands~ the ones where our names have been written~ and gather us.
Who will pick up the pieces, every single fragment and make all things new.

So that means when life seems unfair and often times is.

When the hurt comes in like a flood.

When friends betray.

When it seems you've been dismissed again.

When Mothers and Fathers have turned their backs~ and their hearts.

When promises are delayed.

When it seems like it will never be your turn.

When words hurt and your heart is in pieces.

There is One who will gather....

all just so nothing is lost.

It seems that there is a familiar message within those words.

A God who is concerned about everything and everyone who may be lost.

Wrap your heart around this truth today sweet friends...

Friday, August 6, 2010

Babies And Boxes

Thank you so much for all of your sweet comments and congratulations! 

I loved reading all of your thoughts and yes I did create that pearl covered pregnancy test. I have a bit of an obsession. I love to make things beautiful. Especially ordinary things. Thank you so much for so many kind and encouraging words. 

You all made my heart sing....

We are completely overjoyed and so thankful to The One who gives the greatest gift of all. We are still blown away that He would entrust us again. We are not in any way the greatest parents in the world and most certainly do not have it all together~ not by any stretch of the imagination. We know there are many who do it all so much better...

After all my husband still lives and works in another state. 

And my laundry very well could hold a world record for the largest clean and dirty piles. 

And my car is a mess.

 And so is my house.

We definitely would not be ones to give out advice. Encouragement yes, but not advice.

After twenty years of parenting I still don't have it all figured out....

But I love my children & I am overjoyed at the thought of a newborn in our house again.

Even though I don't have it all together.

Even though most of my days are really, really hard.

Even though I do not qualify in the "best mom ever" department.

Even in spite of what we are walking through in this season.

Even in spite of what other people think. And often times say.

Even in spite of the fact that everything is not perfect and probably never will be....

Our hearts have been, from day one of life together, knit together for family. Not just a family but a big family who carry a heart for His people.  This has always been our prayer and we are grateful that He would call us once again.

I thought I would share some special pictures of a baby boy shower I co~hosted in my home for a girlfriend a few years ago. You may remember my love for hosting baby showers. I was blessed to design the tables and settings for this one and had so much fun doing so. It is one of my favorite things to do! 

I thought these pictures would go well with the baby theme today as I share pieces of what we have been walking out lately.  I will suffice it to say~

Faith Tested.

It has been an emotional few months in our house. For several reasons.

I just took note of my one year mark on July 17 of caring for our children solo. 

It was emotional because my faith has been tested like never before in the last year and looking back I survived it but not without clinging to Him and a daily outpouring of His grace. This season has stretched our faith. Our marriage. Our family. Our finances. There is not one area that hasn't been touched by our big move over one year ago. We have found ourselves questioning whether or not we made the right decision. As the one year anniversary came and went and Daddy was still not here with us. 

Faith Tested.

We've stood on His word. His promises. And what we had hoped would be His provision. We have walked through the most difficult season to date in our 10 years of marriage. 

We have also walked through it alone. 

Which has been a heartache all by itself. There has not been a tremendous outpouring of help or support during this difficult time. It has truly been a winter season and one where we have just sought out the Lord like never before.

We also have not been able to join a church here yet. Mainly because each time we have tried to visit one, we are paged to come to the nursery to comfort a little one and just end up going home. So we have not had the blessing that can be a church family during the absolute hardest time in our life. 

We have walked through in the last year what I would describe now as a stripping away and a refining fire. There have been many, many heartaches. Disappointments and broken relationships. Loads of rejection and abandonment and many days and nights of clinging to the Father for His help, wisdom and guidance.

I remember one year ago moving to a new place.

Sending my oldest off to college.

Sending my husband off to another state to start a new job.

And being surrounded by babies and boxes.

And trying to do life. Alone.

New place. New town. New schools. New people.

Completely starting over.

I remember having a ray of hope that it would be okay because at least I had my mom in this new place and my children would have a grandmother to love on them at the least on a weekly basis. Something they had never had before.

And then I received a phone call that would rock me to my very core.

Just a few weeks after our move into town. ... she would decide she was done.

To say that I was undone would be a huge understatement.

It came without reason or warning. And to this day, one year later it is still so painful.

I haven't been able to write about it for a solid year and still can barely talk about it.

I have walked through a depth of forgiveness that I didn't know was possible.

And my heart still prays for her. 

Still loves her. 

Still honors her. 

Still forgives her.

Still believes the best in her.

Faith Tested.

After all of this and so much more we had to make some decisions about what would be best for our family.

And so we have moved again just for the school year.

We found a little rental house that needs a lot of love.

Thank goodness the owner agreed to my obsession with white paint.

One year later. 

I am surrounded by babies and boxes- again.

Just this week I sent my oldest off to college- again.

And sent my husband back to work in another state- again.

And here I am. Starting over again. 

Trying to do life ...

With my faith tested, tried and true.

With my babies and many boxes.

Unpacking life and hope one cardboard box at a time.

Only this time I'm carrying a promise inside my womb that is a daily reminder to me

That He is for me and not against me.

That He has a purpose and a plan.

And that He will work all things together for my good and His glory......

We have had lots of celebrations too.

I am happy to report that Mr. P and G survived another month of May which is commonly known around here as the "trifecta."

He has the beautiful opportunity every year to celebrate my birthday, Mothers day and our anniversary all within 18 days of each other.

For our anniversary this year he asked what I would like to do and I responded with this simple statement. 

"I want to see the babies." 

He knew what that meant. 

After all he married a woman with a 10 year old baby girl and a heart shaped uterus. :)

And this is not the first time in our ten years of marriage that I have made that request. 

That's all I wanted. 

Which meant that my precious husband drove me down to the biggest baby hospital in town, held my hand on the elevator ride up to the maternity ward and walked me straight to the closest thing to heaven on earth that I could personally ever dream of.


He stood by my side and waited.

My sweet man.

Listening and watching as I stood there and stared in complete awe and wonder, weeping at the miracles before me.  Whispering to the Father my very hearts desire.  


When just eight days later I would discover

It was already done.

 Another gift given and one I certainly did not deserve. Imagine my reaction after standing at the newborn nursery window weeping just eight days prior to this.  I was already expecting and had absolutely no idea.

Glory to His precious name......

I had to share the good news over the phone with Mr. P and G as he was away for a month at the time. His reaction was the same as it has been each and every time before this ...

Unspeakable Joy. Laughter. Tears. Gratitude and Praise. It was a beautiful sound ...

Here is how he responded when seeing "us" for the first time at the airport a month later.....

Tears sweet friends.

15 precious weeks and counting......

Please keep us in your prayers as we expect the arrival of our sixth gift in January 2011.