A Day Of Remembrance

This is a picture of our own personal copy of New York magazine, dated September 24, 2001.

We were living in the area at the time and my husband's office looked right out to the twin towers.

We just so happened to be on the phone together when he literally saw the first plane hit. He would then go on to see things that people should never see. The horror and destruction of 9/11 marked us forever and we would never be the same. 

Our hearts would never be the same as we would learn about the loss of so many and we grieved as a family, as individuals and as a community for their loss and for their deep sorrow and mourning for their precious loved ones.

I remember waiting at the train station for him that day. 

Rows and rows of wives lined up waiting for the train doors to open and praying that their husband would be the next one to step onto the platform.

No one knew.

No one knew anything other than this- there was complete and total mass destruction.

There was no way to contact your loved ones. No cell phone service - nothing.

Just waiting at the train station.

And praying.

We were all praying. For ourselves and for one another.

I was grateful and thankful that my husband eventually stepped onto the platform that day and felt an overwhelming sense of grief for all of those whose loved ones didn't.

I was a wreck. A mess of messages about God's goodness- but then this. And so much more....

I was searching for God in all of this and understood nothing.

But sometimes in the midst of tragedy, I don't know that He wants us to have understanding about our circumstances as much as He wants us to simply have Him. 

To know Him.

To know Him as Healer. Redeemer. Restorer. Comforter. Orchestrater. Provider- IN THE MIDST.

The pain and grief and sorrow can be so great that we want to push everything and everyone away-

including Him.

But God wants to draw us close- even when we don't understand.

During this time of tremendous heartbreak for the country and especially for the Tri-State area, during the time of trying to recover and find our new normal, I saw so many beautiful ways that communities came together for one another.

I also walked into bookstores that were sold out of bibles. Completely sold out.

People were desperate for God. Desperate for understanding. Desperate for comfort.

We were two of those people.

God will use even tragedy to draw us close to Him. 

He will allow things and circumstances and situations to break us down - so that we will be willing to bend our hearts toward Him. 

Through the tragedy of 9/11 we came to know the Lord in a very real and very beautiful way.

We no longer just attended church.

We began to worship.

We began to read His word.

We began to seek Him like never before.

And we began to understand that there was so much MORE to Him than either one of us had ever imagined.....

I am grateful for the beauty He has brought out of the many ashes in this life of mine.

I still do not have understanding about much of it.....

But I have Him. I cling to Him now instead of pushing Him away.

And I am grateful that He continues to draw near to us during our times of sorrow....

No matter how wide or how deep that sorrow may be.

He will use every, single thing in our lives for our good and His glory.

Every, single thing.

Soaking It Up

Beautiful friends,

This is where I have been and what I have been doing....

I'm relishing them and reveling in our time together.

I'm soaking up every minute and have lots to share soon.

But right now, all I want to do is memorize every inch of their faces and hold them in my arms
and paint pink toenails and play Star Wars and read stories together on a pink blanket in the park.....


Love you all,

Sibi

But God

I love to sum up my personal testimony in two words- But God.

Six letters that cover the entire scope of my life.

These powerful words are my two favorite words in the entire bible.

I have written about them for many years on this blog and have shared them during
speaking engagements over the years, as well as a way to encourage others through whatever circumstance or situation they may be walking through in life.

Last week I shared through a few forms of social media, about the tiny print shop I just opened recently.  I am hoping to add a new print and post to the shop each week. I have a heart that does not despise the start of small beginnings and am thankful to "just begin."

Thank you to each one of you for your love, support and encouragement. It has meant so much to me!

I pray that this post encourages you today.

Here are three of my favorite "but God" scriptures.

"You intended to harm me, BUT GOD intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."  ~ Genesis 50:20 NKJV

"And the patriarchs, becoming envious, sold Joseph into Egypt. BUT GOD was with him and delivered him out of all his troubles, and gave him favor and wisdom in the presence of Pharaoh, king of Egypt; and made him governor over Egypt and all his house." ~ Acts 7:9-10 NKJV

"BUT GOD, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." ~ Ephesians 2:4-10 NKJV

Maybe you can relate to these words today.

There are so many circumstances and situations in our life that should not have worked out in our favor.

Or could have ended up so much worse.

Or very easily could have taken our life down a different path.

BUT GOD intervened.

BUT GOD who is rich in mercy.

BUT GOD who loved us- even though we were dead in trespasses.

BUT GOD made us alive together with Christ.

BUT GOD delivered us out of all of our troubles.

BUT GOD gave us favor and wisdom in the midst of our troubles.

BUT GOD intended it for good.

BUT GOD showed us the exceeding riches of His grace.

BUT GOD was with us.

If we sat down and wrote out a timeline for our life- we would have more BUT GOD moments
than anything else on that timeline.

More than any hardships.

More than any trials.

More than any suffering.

More than any unfair acts.

More than any heartache.

I thought it was over for me.

But God.

I thought I wasn't meant to be here.

But God.

I thought I was a mistake.

But God.

I thought I would take my own life at the age of 15 years old.

But God.

I thought I would never experience real joy.

But God.

I thought I wasn't loved.

But God.

I thought God didn't love me.

But God.

I thought I wasn't worthy.

But God.

I thought I was nothing.

But God.

I thought it was over for me.

But God.

I thought I would never overcome my circumstances.

But God.

I thought I would never make it as a single mom.

But God.

I thought everyone else was right.

But God.

I thought no one would ever want to marry me. Marry us.

But God.

I thought I would never be loved unconditionally.

But God.

I thought I would never overcome the years of suffering and hardship.

But God.

I thought I would always live in a trailer.

But God.

I thought I would always have a life of poverty and lack.

But God.

I thought I would never be able to look in the mirror and see beauty of any kind.

But God.

I thought I would always measure my worth based on others opinion of me.

But God.

I thought I had to be good enough for God to love me.

But God.

I thought I had to earn God's grace.

But God.

I thought I would never understand, learn, love or teach God's word.

But God.

I thought it would always be the way its always been.

But God.

I thought there was absolutely no way God would give me a second chance at Motherhood.

But God.

I thought I would never recover from three miscarriages.

But God.

I thought there was no way that God would trust me with a big family.

But God.

I thought God's grace was for everyone else but me.

But God.

I thought God's love was just for all of the "good girls."

But God.

I thought God's goodness and grace and mercy and favor were only for the church ladies.

But God.

I thought God's love was conditional.

But God.

I thought I was too far gone, too broken, too damaged for God's grace.

But God.

I thought it was over for me.

But God.

I thought what the enemy meant for harm would never be used for my good and His glory.

But God.

I thought that God would never use me.

But God.

I thought God would never speak to me.

But God.

I thought that teaching His word was only for those who had degrees, titles and initials after their name.

But God.

I thought that I would never be able to use my creativity for the kingdom.

But God.

I thought that it would work out for everyone else but me.

But God.

I thought that God had forgotten about me.

But God.

I pray that this post speaks to you in the innermost part of your being and breathes life into your heart today. I pray that the truth in these words and scriptures would act as a healing balm to your soul in some small way today.

You are so loved precious friend....

To purchase this new print you can click here:

www.pearls-and-grace-shop.myshopify.com

"You intended to harm me, BUT GOD intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."  ~ Genesis 50:20 NKJV

"And the patriarchs, becoming envious, sold Joseph into Egypt. BUT GOD was with him and delivered him out of all his troubles, and gave him favor and wisdom in the presence of Pharaoh, king of Egypt; and made him governor over Egypt and all his house." ~ Acts 7:9-10 NKJV

"BUT GOD, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." ~ Ephesians 2:4-10 NKJV

You Are Amazing

You are. 

You really are amazing.

I know that you may not feel like you are today.

Not after the week or day or month or year you may have had.

Not after it is all said and done anyway.

I know you may be feeling like a shell of a person today. 

And if you have to answer one person with "I'm doing fine" you may actually collapse from 

the exhaustion it brings along with it.

Because it's easier to just answer with an answer than to answer with a heart that can trust.

Because trusting others is what may have allowed this season in the first place.

I know.

But more importantly He knows.

And today, He sees and He knows and He cares and He wanted me to share these words....

You are amazing.

Because in Me, you live and move and have your being.

You are amazing.

Because in Me, you are called, chosen, anointed and appointed.

You are amazing.

Because in Me, your steps are ordered.

You are amazing.

Because in Me, you have great purpose.

You are amazing.

Because in Me, my mercies are new every morning for you.

You are amazing.

Because your name is written in the palm of My hand.

You are amazing.

Because your worth and identity and value are tied to Me.  

You are amazing.

Because I created you with a great love and beauty and brilliance. 

You are amazing.

Because you choose to use your life for good. 

You are amazing.

Because you are allowing me to give you double honor for your former shame.

You are amazing.

Because you have allowed me to process you. Shape you. Define you. Refine you. 

You are a treasured daughter of the King of Kings. 

I created you with a beauty and a creativity that is all your own.

I created you with gifts and talents that are beyond measure.

I created you with a grace and a splendor that cannot ever be compared.

I created you with all of the love and glory you would ever need for your amazing story...

And today, allow your heart to be filled with that great love.

My love will minimize every circumstance and situation and obstacle in your life.

Be still and know these truths today daughter.

"For in Him we live and move and have our being." - Acts 17:28