Tuesday, December 21, 2010
I am writing this post with such a heavy heart this morning.
Our dear friend Granny Smith Green lost her precious Father yesterday morning.
Five days before Christmas.
What a tremendous loss...
I know that he is in the arms of our loving heavenly Father right now......
But my heart aches for my real life friend and for what she is having to walk through right now along with the rest of her family.
I know this blogger personally. She is a precious soul. And her heart is just like His.
Please pray for GSG and her entire family right now sweet friends. I know it would mean the world to her.
May the Comforter come upon you in a new way this morning. May He pour out from the heavenly places the oil of joy for your mourning, and give you a garment of praise for your spirit of heaviness. May He minister to your broken heart in the deep places with His love, His peace, His grace and His power in the most beautiful and supernatural ways. May He send people to you during this difficult time who would be His mouthpiece, His hands and His feet to minister and demonstrate His very words of hope and encouragement to you during your time of loss and may you feel His love for you in a very tangible way in the days and weeks to come precious friend.
My love and prayers to you.......
Written by Sibi at 10:01 AM
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Photo Credit: Martha Stewart
Merry Christmas! Hope that you all have enjoyed the start of a glorious season!
We spent a few days away as a family and I can't tell you what a trip to the beach does for my soul..... It is an amazing healing balm. We were so blessed to receive this short, little trip as a special gift and it blessed our family immensely! We prayed for the weather to be beautiful and warm and could not believe how warm it was while we were there. Grateful me.
I did not care a thing about food or a meal or shopping or anything like that. I just wanted to sit on the beach and watch my four precious ones soak up the sun, play in the sand and splash around in the water and thank Him for allowing us this time together as a family. I have grown to cherish every precious second of it since our family time has been shortened to only the weekends over the last 18 months.
I also took a few pictures.
Hundreds of pictures I mean....... of their tiny hands and feet. Of them playing and dancing and splashing around together. Oh my gracious, how I love to be behind the camera......
I love it so much I think I could almost.....almost take a leap of faith and make a small career out of it.
But family first and we will see what the Lord has in store.
I have serious e-mail debt. If you have written me an e-mail and have not heard back it is not because I chose not to respond. It is because I desire to write you back in a special response and even enclose a prayer as I usually do. I do not like a short, quick response. I want to write and respond with whatever the Lord prompts me with and that takes time......and so my apologies. I still respond to every, single e-mail.
And it makes my heart sing that you would take the time to write to me. To share your heart, your struggles and your stories. It is a tremendous blessing and I thank you for trusting me.
Let's see. I know what the baby is!!
And I'm having a fit to share it with all of you and have some special pictures that go with, but have no way to upload any pictures on my sweet friends' computer. But soon!
We are overjoyed with excitement!!! Squuueeeeeeeeeeeeal!
I have tons of pictures to share!! You may remember that we lost our computers due to some serious electrical issues here. I am thankful that we had all of our pictures backed up!! But we still haven't purchased a new computer yet. Soon hopefully.
We are also in the middle of moving. We finally found a place and thank Him every day for blessing us with a new place to call home. Thankfully our new place has an office so Big Daddy can work from home now! The plan is to work one week here and one week there. Which means he will be home for about 10 days at a time.
I may hear the angels singing. Glory!!!!!
18 months of doing everything solo!!!! I think it's over. I have no concept of how I survived it all.
By His Grace Alone.
My sweet Bella Grace auditioned for the City Ballet Nutcracker back in the early fall and made it! I am so proud of her!! This was a huge leap of faith for her. She is incredibly shy and introverted but has such a love for ballet and for music. We wanted to give her the opportunity to at least try out and knew if she could get past her fears she would love every second of it! She was hesitant. She shed a few tears. She didn't know anyone. She needed encouragement , love and support and we poured it out! I am so proud of her for overcoming her fears! Opening night is next weekend and I will be sitting in the audience with a huge arrangement of fluffy pink roses tied up with pink tulle and sprinkled with glitter! Cannot wait to watch her do what she loves to do.......
Our December is filled with many Nutcracker performaces, school Christmas programs, a major move, Christmas, a birthday and a 21st birthday in January as well as the arrival of this precious newborn baby!
I am in full nesting mode and we are moving in starting this weekend. I have been busy gathering things for our new little one as well as going through everything and editing ,sorting and organizing!!
I even purchased those itty, bitty newborn diapers over the weekend. Big Sigh.....I can hardly wait.......
We are so thankful during this special time of year and I am so thankful for each of you who stop in and visit. I recently celebrated three years of P and G and cannot believe it has been that long! I love writing here as well as following along with as many of you as I can. The blog world has been a tremendous blessing for me personally. So thank you again to each one of you for sharing your heart with me, for leaving such beautiful and encouraging comments, for your continued prayers and for allowing me the privilege to pray for and encourage you. I consider it a tremendous gift.
Many blessings to you and your family during this joyful month!
Written by Sibi at 10:51 AM
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I wanted to just stop in and leave a little update and wish everyone a beautiful Thanksgiving....
Mr. P and G is home and we are doing something a little different this year. Last year I spent at least 8 hours cooking and probably at least that long cleaning up afterwards and it took our children about 10 minutes to enjoy every bite.
Mama wasn't up for that this year.
Can anyone else relate?
So we are going on a little road trip and taking a break from our normal routine and will be spending a few days reading lots of fairytales and bible stories to our children, sipping hot cocoa with fluffy marshmallows and going for lots of walks and enjoying these precious ones more than ever. I'm also hoping to take at least a thousand pictures of their precious faces. I've been busy capturing them more than usual. Documenting their childhood in letters and photographs. Two of my favorite things to do.....
In addition after the year we have had I've found myself this November filled with gratitude on a new level.
And it doesn't have anything to do with turkey and cornbread dressing.
It doesn't have anything to do with Black Friday . And really nothing at all to do with rushing the next holiday and attempting to get the tree up and decorated.
For me this year, Thanksgiving is a place.
It's a spiritual posture that I can walk in every, single day. Or not.
I don't need a big meal this year, where folks eat too much and then pass out for the rest of the day to prove how thankful I am.
I want to be as thankful on a regular Monday as I am on actual Thanksgiving.
I love the Holidays. I mean I absolutely adore them. But this year it's so different for me.
I've arrived at my destination and it's called Thanksgiving.
Where gratitude and attitude are the state and capital.
It's a place. And I'm resting in it this year. Knowing that the Father doesn't need me to host, cook or create a huge meal. Knowing that He is interested in the condition of my heart and what's going on inside it more than how pretty the table is set or how good the pumpkin pie is.
It isn't a day for me this year. It's a place and I never want to leave.
No matter what happens in life. This is where I am taking up my permanent residence.
I want to rest in this place whether God provides simple daily "manna" or whether it's a year flowing with milk and honey. I have to. I've had to walk through many valleys so that I can teach my children about what Thanksgiving really means out of a true and deep heart knowledge.
Not just head knowledge.
And I've always been thankful. But this year, it's an entirely different level.
It's a place inside that even though everything is not okay. It's okay. And even though things are really difficult and really hard. It's okay. And even though God has allowed certain circumstances and situations that are pressing and crushing...it's okay. I will praise Him and thank Him and trust Him in the midst of it all.
Because my heart has a new address this year......
2010 Thanksgiving Circle
Written by Sibi at 6:53 PM
Monday, November 15, 2010
Photo Credit : Martha Stewart
This year has been a special year for us in the way of monumental milestones for several reasons. My oldest daughter turned twenty this year. Twenty beautiful years. One incredible milestone for her and one monumental moment for me.
In May I celebrated my twentieth Mother's Day. Twenty years of parenting.
And then in May another milestone. We celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary.
Ten years of marriage. It was a huge milestone for us.
I don't think either one of us could believe we had made it that long!
We have loved one another and we have survived tremendous adversity and overcome hurdles that almost seemed unfair. All without any mentoring or role models or any help from natural or spiritual parents.
And it has been incredibly difficult and immensly rewarding all at the same time.
I wish I knew then what I know now.....
I wish Martha would have told me. While my eyes were glazed over the glossy pictures of her beautiful wedding issues that marriage in and of itself has absolutely nothing to do with the cake, the dress and the ring.
And by the way, it's not for the faint of heart.
I wish she would have had offered articles on how to stand when every rug has been pulled out from underneath you. Or how to survive the corporate cutbacks, the paycuts, the miscarriages, allienation from "family" and worst of all how to stand when you have to walk through the unthinkable things in life like .......
cancer for example.
I'm married to an amazing, incredible, beautiful cancer survivor.
Praise His precious name.
But I've had to learn how to be a wife and not just any wife but his wife. I had to learn over time how to love again and how to trust again and how on earth to tear down the gigantic walls called my defenses that had taken up residence around my heart over the years.
I had to learn almost immediately that the wasted time I had spent pouring over those magazines, in my attempt to create my own little dream wedding, had absolutely nothing to do with our life as a future married couple.
After the cake, the dress, the ceremony, the pictures, the time and the careful attention to detail.
I arrived in our marriage with my precious ten year old baby girl and twenty eight years worth of baggage.
I wouldn't recommend that.
And basically with all of that tucked inside my newly monogrammed "Mrs. bag" I stepped into what I can now refer to as a complete war zone and without any armor on.
Rude awakening 101.
Thank the good Lord for His mercy and grace.....
God created marriage and He tells us in His word that a man who finds a wife finds "a good thing!"
God coined that phrase long before Martha.
And the enemy hates marriage. He despises unity and family and attempts to kill, steal and destroy almost the second we say "I do"
I had no idea what it was like to be loved unconditionally or to be happily married.
I did not have Godly parents who modeled a healthy and happy marriage for me. My husband didn't either.
Neither one of us had a clue. We just knew we loved one another and we loved Macey Girl and we wanted a great, big family!
Almost immediately after our wedding the attacks started. One after another. I could barely get my breath and something else would happen. I constantly felt like the bottom was dropping out...literally.
We were married. We moved to a new place. Then a couple of months later another new place. My husband started a new job and we lost our first pregnancy- the first of three. I was completely overwhelmed not knowing a soul and putting my daughter in a new school where she did not know anyone as well.
And my husband did what most men do. He went into provider - career- success driven mode.
He immersed himself in his job.
He left the house on the 5:09 a.m. train and he got home by 8:00 p.m. on a good night.
I can remember feeling abandoned and overlooked and ignored to some degree and very much like I was still a single mother.
Those days were incredibly difficult for us.
We had to learn how to have a realtionship with the Father most of all and we had to seek Him to learn how to minister to one another. To meet each others needs. To outserve the other. To speak the truth in love. To prefer one another ...
To speak the others love language.
I am so thankful that we were both willing to do so.
That we were willing to do the work and to keep trying.
There have been many times where I have expected him to leave...especially during the years where I walked through the pain of my past and some deep inner healing.
But the Father knew.
He knew that it would take an oak of righteousness who could not be moved to "become one" with me.
And during these ten years of marriage, there have been seasons where my Husband spoke my love language, he pursued me still, he met my needs, filled my love tank and made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
And there have been seasons when he hasn't.
It all seemed to go right out the window during our "winter seasons" just like it has for so many others.
We are not marriage experts, professionals or any such thing. But are seekers of His truth and desire to do things God's way and not the way the world says to do things.
That has never changed.
So when the Lord prompted me to write this post back in May right around our ten year anniversary I just pushed it away. (That sweet prompting of the Holy Spirit whom I love so much.)
Clearly He had the wrong girl. We don't give parenting advice or marital advice- just lots of encouragement and what has worked or not worked for us. We have walked through seasons of both.
But He wouldn't let up.
He kept prompting me to write about the one scripture and the one thing that has significantly helped our marriage when my husband has applied it and ultimately helped me to grow as a wife and better meet his needs ~ to have an earthly demonstration of the Father's love.
To see, feel and expereince the scriptures come to life. There isn't anything like it.
That scripture is "Husbands dwell with your wives according to knowledge" ~ 1 Peter 3:7
It means to study her. Become a student of your wife.
There isn't a woman on the planet who will not respond to a man studying her.
We love it.
Pay attention to her. Notice her. Prefer her. Surprise her. Minister to her.
To "dwell with her according to knowledge" you have to study her in order to gain the knowledge...
Many times I have listened to a broken heart describe how she feels invisible in her own marriage. How she feels lonely . How she feels used or forgotten or overlooked. Many times. And I have been there too.
He stopped studying. Life got in the way.
God created women with a deep desire to be studied. To be known. To desire intimacy. To be discovered.
If men knew the power that they hand within applying this one scripture.
It is life changing.
Years ago when I would share on occasion something incredibly sweet my husband did for me with another girlfriend, the very first thing they would ask was this.
"How did he know?" Did you tell him to do that? Did you tell him you wanted that?
The man is an amazing student.
He has dreamed up, created and executed some unbelievably thoughtful special gifts and moments.
And it has ministered to this hopeless romantic like no tomorrow.....
The world says:
"Give your husband a list of what you want."
"He's not a mind reader"
"How is he supposed to know if you don't tell him?"
"He will never think of something like that on his own!"
God's way says:
Pay attention to her.
Listen to her.
Notice the details.
Love her .
Spend time with her.
I do not ever give my husband a list.
God's way trumps the worlds way every, single time.
You have never seen intimacy in your marriage like what will come when you begin to study your wife.
As the Lord said long before Martha....."It's a good thing."
So for those of you who are waiting and hoping and longing and for those of you who have decided that "he is never going to change," I want to offer you a little encouragement today. And a little hope that if you can trust the Father for a new season for your marriage and if you can pray for your husband ~ even though your needs may not be met. If you can go a little deeper with the Father...the One who is the author of your marriage....
He can and he will change. He can and he will begin to minister to your needs. He can and he will begin to study you and begin to know you on a deeper level. He can and He will bring the romance back into your marriage. He can and he will rise up and become the spiritual head of your household. He can and he will begin to see the damage that has been done. He can and he will begin to repair and restore by the grace and the goodness and the prompting of the Father.
It is not over.
God is mighty to save.....
I want to encourage you today to begin to trust God for your marriage and begin to pray for your husband and your marriage like never before sweet friends.
And watch what He is about to do.....
*Disclaimer* This blog post was written out of obedience and a heart of humility that has walked through ten years and every season of marriage. The good, the difficult and the beautiful........
Written by Sibi at 12:57 PM
Friday, November 5, 2010
I once had a friend whom I would call every year on one specific day to say one specific thing.
"The cups changed today."
She knew what that meant. Don't you just love a girlfriend who knows you so well that you don't have to explain every little thing? Who just gets it? I love that about a friend and a razor sharp quick wit as well. Two of my favorite things in a girlfriend.
We would laugh and listen to one another and then she would say something along the lines of "Now don't do this to yourself again this year! "
The "cup changing" that I am referring to is the day every year that Starbucks changes their cups from white to red. It's one of the many changes that mark the start of the season. And it happened this week.
On Tuesday in fact.
It puts a pep in my step and a panic in my heart all at the same time. The store displays change. The music changes. The weather cools. Wardrobes change. Everything. It's coming. And nothing is going to stop it.
And I love Christmas. I love this time of year. I love the softness in hearts and the gift of forgiveness people will offer this time of year. I love the fragrance. The sights. The sounds. I love picking out and wrapping gifts. I love Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my children. My husband and I just sit and watch with our coffee and experience every, single thing through their eyes.
It is pure wonderment.
Most of all I love to celebrate Him.
And in all of the celebrating of Him and all of the merriment and all of the sentimental pieces of the season. There is a place in my heart that longs for what I've never had outside of that with my own children. There is a place in my heart that longs so deeply for Christmas with family. And not just any family but family who loves like Him and who loves us like He loves us. Family who loves unconditionally. Who gives. Loves. Forgives. Sows. Pours. Prays. And loves to decorate, cook, bake and trim the tree too if you must know.
I want a Holy Spirit filled Martha Stewart Christmas.
Every. Single. Year.
And every year when those cups change I am reminded that it is coming and again, for the umpteenth year, it's not going to happen. I can trust Him for it, and have in big ways in years past. Some years there has been a glimmer of hope and some big trying on our parts that just end in complete and total disaster.
And I vow to never, ever try again.
But then the cups change.
And my heart quickens. And my thoughts race. And I "what if" myself to death.
What if they will love us this year?
What if they want a relationship with their children and grandchildren?
What if they have allowed God to do heart surgery?
Maybe things are different. Maybe they will be different.
And I sip from my new red cup a holiday latte while four very small and very precious children hang on my coat tail and one adorable twenty year old chats to me over the cell phone and one very sweet, bouncing baby stirs inside my womb that ......
He has already given it to me.
And He has given me the opportunity to give it to them.
I can wish away the season every time I see a Mother and Daughter shopping together. Every time I see them having a Christmas lunch together. I can allow my heart "to go there" and magnify the fact that my children do not have grandparents every time a grandmother approaches me and asks all about my children- and Heaven knows, I am like a magnet to grandmothers. I love them.
I can allow that lump to stay in my throat every time I hear about friends' parents coming to stay with their children so that they can "get away" and have a little vacation as husband and wife for the hundreth time when my husband and I can't imagine getting away or having a break for even 3 or 4 hours- much less a trip of any sort. I'm pretty sure it's been 6 or 7 years .....I've lost count.
I can allow bitterness and resentment to overtake me when I see rows of family members and grandparents filling the seats at the opening night of The Nutcracker this year and my sweet Bella Grace tip toes onto the stage for the first time ever to be cheered on by her parents alone.
I can ask God to "guard my heart" again this year when I listen to friends go on and on about the incredible gifts and generosity poured out at Christmas by their parents.
I can allow my heart to go there.
I can allow the enemy to magnify my circumstances......
Or I can focus on the fact that we can be that kind of amazing parental love and support to our own children, now and in the years to come. These precious ones who fill our hearts with so much love and joy.
So this year, I have decided that I am not going to long for what has never been and I'm not going to mourn that we will spend another Thanksgiving and Christmas alone with our children.
That is big for me. I want the fairytale extended family.
I am chosing to just be thankful that we have each other and we have the five (almost six) babies and I am going to turn the music up a little louder, put more lights on the tree than ever before, cut the ribbon a little longer, bake even more cookies, forgive on another level, love more deeply, read more stories, wrap gifts even more beautifully, take even more pictures, send even more holiday cards and rock my precious babies even longer while I praise the One who has given me the desire of my heart that goes beyond what happens inside my heart every year when the cups change at Starbucks.
Written by Sibi at 6:17 AM
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
This gorgeous photo shows some of the best fall has to offer and some of my personal favorites. When I saw this it absolutely took my breath away. Simply delcious! I found this beauty at Simply Seleta, who by the way is one incredible mother of four, stylist, designer and more! Stop by and pay a little visit this morning if you haven't already. It is one of the prettiest places in all of blog world....
Written by Sibi at 11:12 AM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Back in August I was blessed with the opportunity to write a guest post for one of my favorite places on the web! I LOVE this community! I think I squealed for at least an hour or two! It has been the desire of my heart to write elsewhere in addition to Pearls and Grace and I am so honored to write alongside these beautiful women.
What a privilege.
Pour yourself a cup of cinnamon coffee, with fresh nutmeg of course and stop by and visit today for a little seasonal delight.............
The Fragrance Of Change
A big southern hug and special thank you to Holley and Lisa-Jo for blessing me with this special gift!
Written by Sibi at 8:20 AM
Good morning sweet friends!
I wanted to write a quick post and let you know that I have not been able to write or update due to some serious computer problems. We ended up losing both our desk top and our laptop at the same time.
Here's hoping for a new computer.
In the meantime I wanted to thank my sweet friend Eliza who has allowed me to borrow an old laptop! I am so grateful for the chance to write a little note. I cannot seem to upload pictures yet but I am working on it!
I have so much to share about life, family, faith and a few special things too. We have had a busy back to school season and are enjoying the beginning of Fall with all the kiddies!
I hope you are each doing well and enjoying this beautiful time of year with your families!
Written by Sibi at 7:53 AM
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Good Morning! Hope this finds each of you doing well! I can't tell you how excited I am to have a computer again. I have felt like a cave woman without it. As a stay at home Mom with little ones and naps and so on, it's my only connection to the outside world on most days! I did the happy dance in the Apple store this morning when the man at the "genius bar" told me it was fixed! Yea!!!!
So much has happened over the past couple of weeks and I am looking forward to sharing it post by post in the days to come. The main thing I wanted to share is that we are going to be moving again.
Yes. We just moved. Yes. I am beyond overwhelmed. However, I am doing my best to try and stay positive. To not have a breakdown. To just start packing again with a good attitude and know that how I act and what I say will directly impact my children and how well they receive what is going on in their little world.
I'm doing my best to look at this as a fresh start and a new beginning. I have asked, prayed and pleaded with the Lord to please help- which probably by now sounds more like begging than praying and standing in faith.
I have not been a strong tower through this. Not by any stretch.
But I know He has a plan. Even in the midst of two flooding issues within a few weeks and major plumbing problems and a long list of other things that are just more than one family should have to walk through with a house they just moved to.
Even in the midst of so many things that I have yet to share.
He has a plan. He is in the business of fresh starts and new beginnings and I am doing my best to hold on and pack every, single thing back up and do this all again. For the second time in two months.
There are worse things.
But through all of this I long to write. To speak through the touch of a keyboard what I cannot articulate in person. In the carpool line. Through a text message. In the Doctor's office. Or in the parking lot of the grocery store.
It is wide and it is deep and it can only be spoken through the written word.
So......... soon sweet friends.
Written by Sibi at 1:07 PM
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Sweet baby of mine. Let it be written that you are the one who was promised to me.
The one whom I've longed for. Prayed for. Hoped for. Believed for.
Whether you are a sweet baby boy or a precious baby girl.....we are overjoyed...and you are already named. A beautiful name. A significant name.
Chosen. Called. Anointed and appointed for such a time as this....
You are the one who has blessed our cup beyond measure. Pressed down. Shaken together and running over. You are the spilling forth, the overflow and the one who has caused our hearts to do the very same thing. Just like He promised......
You are, along with each of your siblings my proudest accomplishment. You all are my unspeakable joy. My greatest life work.....
I am so grateful for you my sweet beloved..... with the kind of gratitude that causes one to hardly stand because the weight of the blessing if so magnificent and so grand.......
Thank you Father for this sixth, beautiful, wondrous gift.
May You be glorified and highly lifted up.....
Written by Sibi at 6:52 AM
Friday, August 20, 2010
Wanted to share my heart today about these two.
I won't share for very long because the tears keep me from the keyboard....
I wanted to encourage those of you who are Mothers to precious ones and you may still be waiting on that perfect -made for me - spouse.
Speaking from a place of waiting that was ten years deep.
May I encourage you today? Speaking from someone who believed that she would never meet someone willing. Someone special enough . Someone brave enough. Someone worthy enough to share in the raising of my baby girl. I can't say I even trusted God enough. I didn't.
But it happened. Miraculous. Oh yes. It was. It still is.
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't lift my hands and praise The One who blessed me with this beautiful man and this sweet girl. My Macey Girl. My gift given at the tender age of eighteen years.
Don't get me started....
About how much they favor one another. Or about how much they are deeply heart connected. Or about how much they "get each other" and have their very own special connection completely separate from me.
Oh yes. This is how big God is that He would bless me with a husband who not only looked so much like my baby girl, but one who carried the spirit of adoption in his heart for her...... from the beginning.
It's as if we've always been a family.....
They adore each other.
Grateful, thankful me.
I know He will do the same for you....He has that special someone who will love your children with a supernatural love. Who will be that earthly demonstration of His love and pour- and I mean pour onto your children in ways you have never imagined possible...
It's coming dear one. Go ahead and trust Him for it......
Written by Sibi at 11:42 AM
Thursday, August 12, 2010
So when they were filled, He said to His disciples,
"Gather up the fragments that remain, so that nothing is lost." ~ John 6:12
I love these red letter words that Jesus shared with His disciples.
There is such depth spoken here in glorious red ink.
Why is it that He was so concerned about gathering up the fragments?
Why was He concerned about what was left behind?
Why would Jesus teach His disciples this beautiful lesson?
So that nothing was lost.
I love this scripture. It is one that I am holding close during this season.
I love that He wanted to make sure that nothing was lost.
Did you know that He is concerned about our fragments?
This simple truth is amazing to me.
He can, after all, make all things new.
He can, after all, bring restoration and recompense.
But a God who is deeply concerned about what is left undone......
What has been unraveled.
What has been torn apart and ripped to shreds.
What looks like He may have simply forgotten us.
There is such power in this truth.
I love that He is concerned about the details of my life.
That He has not forgotten about the broken pieces.
The fragments that are lying around that are too big and too painful for me to piece back together.
That The One who created it all is ever mindful about my damaged goods is overwhelming to me.
I love that He is so willing to lean down and put together all the pieces on my behalf.
I am so grateful that He loves me enough to gather me.
When life has broken me into or when I have made a mess of things....
And there are pieces........
You and I, we know about pieces.
We have a Savior.
Who will take His hands~ the ones where our names have been written~ and gather us.
Who will pick up the pieces, every single fragment and make all things new.
So that means when life seems unfair and often times is.
When the hurt comes in like a flood.
When friends betray.
When it seems you've been dismissed again.
When Mothers and Fathers have turned their backs~ and their hearts.
When promises are delayed.
When it seems like it will never be your turn.
When words hurt and your heart is in pieces.
There is One who will gather....
all just so nothing is lost.
It seems that there is a familiar message within those words.
A God who is concerned about everything and everyone who may be lost.
Wrap your heart around this truth today sweet friends...
Written by Sibi at 7:49 AM
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thank you so much for all of your sweet comments and congratulations!
I loved reading all of your thoughts and yes I did create that pearl covered pregnancy test. I have a bit of an obsession. I love to make things beautiful. Especially ordinary things. Thank you so much for so many kind and encouraging words.
You all made my heart sing....
We are completely overjoyed and so thankful to The One who gives the greatest gift of all. We are still blown away that He would entrust us again. We are not in any way the greatest parents in the world and most certainly do not have it all together~ not by any stretch of the imagination. We know there are many who do it all so much better...
After all my husband still lives and works in another state.
And my laundry very well could hold a world record for the largest clean and dirty piles.
And my car is a mess.
And so is my house.
We definitely would not be ones to give out advice. Encouragement yes, but not advice.
After twenty years of parenting I still don't have it all figured out....
But I love my children & I am overjoyed at the thought of a newborn in our house again.
Even though I don't have it all together.
Even though most of my days are really, really hard.
Even though I do not qualify in the "best mom ever" department.
Even in spite of what we are walking through in this season.
Even in spite of what other people think. And often times say.
Even in spite of the fact that everything is not perfect and probably never will be....
Our hearts have been, from day one of life together, knit together for family. Not just a family but a big family who carry a heart for His people. This has always been our prayer and we are grateful that He would call us once again.
I thought I would share some special pictures of a baby boy shower I co~hosted in my home for a girlfriend a few years ago. You may remember my love for hosting baby showers. I was blessed to design the tables and settings for this one and had so much fun doing so. It is one of my favorite things to do!
I thought these pictures would go well with the baby theme today as I share pieces of what we have been walking out lately. I will suffice it to say~
It has been an emotional few months in our house. For several reasons.
I just took note of my one year mark on July 17 of caring for our children solo.
It was emotional because my faith has been tested like never before in the last year and looking back I survived it but not without clinging to Him and a daily outpouring of His grace. This season has stretched our faith. Our marriage. Our family. Our finances. There is not one area that hasn't been touched by our big move over one year ago. We have found ourselves questioning whether or not we made the right decision. As the one year anniversary came and went and Daddy was still not here with us.
We've stood on His word. His promises. And what we had hoped would be His provision. We have walked through the most difficult season to date in our 10 years of marriage.
We have also walked through it alone.
Which has been a heartache all by itself. There has not been a tremendous outpouring of help or support during this difficult time. It has truly been a winter season and one where we have just sought out the Lord like never before.
We also have not been able to join a church here yet. Mainly because each time we have tried to visit one, we are paged to come to the nursery to comfort a little one and just end up going home. So we have not had the blessing that can be a church family during the absolute hardest time in our life.
We have walked through in the last year what I would describe now as a stripping away and a refining fire. There have been many, many heartaches. Disappointments and broken relationships. Loads of rejection and abandonment and many days and nights of clinging to the Father for His help, wisdom and guidance.
I remember one year ago moving to a new place.
Sending my oldest off to college.
Sending my husband off to another state to start a new job.
And being surrounded by babies and boxes.
And trying to do life. Alone.
New place. New town. New schools. New people.
Completely starting over.
I remember having a ray of hope that it would be okay because at least I had my mom in this new place and my children would have a grandmother to love on them at the least on a weekly basis. Something they had never had before.
And then I received a phone call that would rock me to my very core.
Just a few weeks after our move into town. ... she would decide she was done.
To say that I was undone would be a huge understatement.
It came without reason or warning. And to this day, one year later it is still so painful.
I haven't been able to write about it for a solid year and still can barely talk about it.
I have walked through a depth of forgiveness that I didn't know was possible.
And my heart still prays for her.
Still loves her.
Still honors her.
Still forgives her.
Still believes the best in her.
After all of this and so much more we had to make some decisions about what would be best for our family.
And so we have moved again just for the school year.
We found a little rental house that needs a lot of love.
Thank goodness the owner agreed to my obsession with white paint.
One year later.
I am surrounded by babies and boxes- again.
Just this week I sent my oldest off to college- again.
And sent my husband back to work in another state- again.
And here I am. Starting over again.
Trying to do life ...
With my faith tested, tried and true.
With my babies and many boxes.
Unpacking life and hope one cardboard box at a time.
Only this time I'm carrying a promise inside my womb that is a daily reminder to me
That He is for me and not against me.
That He has a purpose and a plan.
And that He will work all things together for my good and His glory......
We have had lots of celebrations too.
I am happy to report that Mr. P and G survived another month of May which is commonly known around here as the "trifecta."
He has the beautiful opportunity every year to celebrate my birthday, Mothers day and our anniversary all within 18 days of each other.
For our anniversary this year he asked what I would like to do and I responded with this simple statement.
"I want to see the babies."
He knew what that meant.
After all he married a woman with a 10 year old baby girl and a heart shaped uterus. :)
And this is not the first time in our ten years of marriage that I have made that request.
That's all I wanted.
Which meant that my precious husband drove me down to the biggest baby hospital in town, held my hand on the elevator ride up to the maternity ward and walked me straight to the closest thing to heaven on earth that I could personally ever dream of.
He stood by my side and waited.
My sweet man.
Listening and watching as I stood there and stared in complete awe and wonder, weeping at the miracles before me. Whispering to the Father my very hearts desire.
When just eight days later I would discover
It was already done.
Another gift given and one I certainly did not deserve. Imagine my reaction after standing at the newborn nursery window weeping just eight days prior to this. I was already expecting and had absolutely no idea.
Glory to His precious name......
I had to share the good news over the phone with Mr. P and G as he was away for a month at the time. His reaction was the same as it has been each and every time before this ...
Unspeakable Joy. Laughter. Tears. Gratitude and Praise. It was a beautiful sound ...
Here is how he responded when seeing "us" for the first time at the airport a month later.....
Tears sweet friends.
15 precious weeks and counting......
Please keep us in your prayers as we expect the arrival of our sixth gift in January 2011.
Written by Sibi at 5:42 AM