Thursday, February 23, 2012

Holy Rollers

Holy Rollers.

This is what I've called my set of hot rollers for years.

On days when I want Texas hair.

Or Holy hair.

Or Sunday School hair.

You know what they say "The bigger the hair the closer to God."

Or when "I want to be Southern Baptist Blonde."  In color and style. I may have mentioned that...

He knew the exact shade.  

With six children in this family, I don't get the chance to execute my Texas hair very often.

Most of the time I'm sporting the librarian. All pulled back in a tight bun at the nape of my neck.

But this isn't really a post about hair styles.....

It's more about those two little words at the top of this page.

I felt led to write about it just in case anyone attending The Pearl Event is worried that some of that

holy roller business is going to be going on from the front of the room.

The type of stuff that makes you feel "less than" as soon as they get started.

The type of stuff where teachers and speakers share about how perfect there life is.

How perfect their marriage is.

How holy and sanctified they are- and their marriage is.

How we are all going to hell if we don't do x,y and z.

It feels bad. Really bad.

Our heavenly Father is love. He is love personified. Love exemplified. He is love every which way including Sunday. He pours and woos and draws and calls us unto Himself....with L-O-V-E.

And that is all that should be coming from the front of any place talking about Jesus.

It is the LOVE of God that breaks every yoke....

So to ease any fears you may have, this event is going to be nothing but love, pearls and personal testimony.

And after I get done telling you about all the stuff God has brought me through- you are going to feel great about your own life.  I promise.

I used to despise my testimony.

I refused to embrace it.

I wanted a new one. A different one. A better one.

I longed not to have the scarlet letter, so to speak,  on my chest.

The girl who came from a broken home. The girl who was this or that. The girl who -----fill in the blank.

I wanted my testimony to be written in a happily ever after pink collection set.


But God had different plans.

In recent years I have become extremely grateful for my experiences in life.

For my chapters if you will.

When He prompts me to write a blog post...I draw from a deep well.

I have hundreds of crisis, experiences and unfortunate circumstances to draw from. :) Go Jesus.

I had to learn life the hard way and now I am grateful for my many life lessons.

Are there still pieces of me that long to be a Daddy's girl or a Mama's girl.  Oh yes....

  I was made to be somebody's girl.

But I'm His girl. His pearl. And that revelation alone has brought forth tremendous healing in my life.

Part of the reason it took me such a long time to realize this is I had some church experiences that left me feeling less than.  I met some holy rollers. And I'm not talking about hot rollers this time.

I love the church and the Christian faith and God's people. So this is not meant to be offensive in the least. This is just one of my personal experiences and it must be for somebody because He isn't going to let me hit publish until I write it.

I remember one experience that kept me out of the church for quite some time.  But worse than that-
It kept me far away from Him. Because I assumed that this woman in particular was right and if she "didn't know where to put me".......

Then a Holy God didn't either.

Many years ago as a young single mama, I  somehow managed to scrape up the courage to attend sunday school.

This was huge for me.

I must have just gotten paid or something - always a good day for me- because I have no earthly idea how I had the confidence to do such a thing.

I filled out the forms and they handed me off to the chief Sunday School lady.

Serious business.

She walked me down one hall and then another and then stopped and looked at me and said in total disgust....

"I don't know where to put YOU!"

"You can't go into the married sunday school class because YOU are NOT married and you CANNOT go into the singles sunday school class because you are NOT single, you have a CHILD!"

I hated the church at that moment.

It crushed me.

To add salt to an open wound she decided it was BEST to go ahead and PUT me in the singles class.
Where the "lesson" that day was "What to wear to church and why".........


I wanted nothing to do with their Jesus.

Because if He really cared about what I had on then we were in big trouble.

And if they didn't know where to "put" me then I was certain He didn't either.

And I had enough problems already.

I spent years running from Him , then searching for Him and running again...

As God would have it....Eventually He wooed me unto Himself and I was able to see and feel and know and experience the wonder of His love.

And when you experience the real thing.....nothing can take that away from you.

Not a church lady. Not a holy roller. Not a church service. Not a friend or a family member.

Especially when it took you over half your life to find it in the first place.

So I am sharing these pieces with you today just to encourage you. To calm any fears you may have about the upcoming event. To confirm that this is nothing but love.....

God loves you so much He had me call Paige,  Edie,  Sarah,  Jane  and Brittany to be with you that day.

They are real life Steel Magnolia's. Steel Magnolia's who love Jesus and who love you....

I know every, single one of them and they absolutely exude the love of the Father.

There isn't a holy roller among us.

Come as you are. Wear whatever you want.

Paige and Edie wear cowboy boots so please, wear yours too.

Set all fears aside and know that you will be embraced. We are huggers and squealers....

We know where "to put you" sweet friends...and that is right smack in the midst of His love.

We are also planning to absolutely make a big 'ole southern fuss over every single one of you.

So brace yourself.

I am praying for you all and I'm praying that His love will absolutely saturate your hearts that day....

Two more weeks.

Love you so.....


Love Being A Nonny said...

My heart is right where yours is. Right. Where. Yours Is. And I cannot wait...Holy Rollers or not! :)

AEOT said...

Everyone should read this post- absolutely everyone in the world. Really, what to wear to church??? That is NOT the God I know (though my mom would say that you should look your best for Him!). I'm not attending your event, but I'm excited to read about it through you and the others. I know it will be nothing but phenomenal and I wish I could experience all the hugs that are going to go on that day. Such a blessing for so many!!!

Valerie said...

Loving reading your most recent blog posts. They're always so heartfelt...full of wisdom...and truth.


KTG said...

So happy this event filled up. I would have tried to get there just a family thing came up.
But.. I want more of Jesus that you,Edie and Paige love.
From a blog reader in Massachusetts!!~a big hug and a thank you for your words today, they were a balm to my soul.

just ask beth said...

so wanted to be little girls birthday is march 11th and I just felt I needed to be here for her..I never, ever doubted you were ever a holy roller..I picture you as a brave , strong woman who has battle scares and braved the storm..and your reward is this beautiful family and your wonderful relationship with God..I love that paige too..y'all make me want to be a better christian..not a better dresser, not a perfect mama, not a perfect wife but a better christian!! I hope you "PEARLS: have a wonderful fellowship!

merirobin said...

You are walking in our "Daddy's" light! I pray to walk in that same light, keeping my eyes focused on HIM and not what the world would have us see! Thanks for obedience and willingness to help bring out the Pearl in each of us! bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes...Is 61:3

Tamara Lambert said...

I am so sorry that happened to you! Remember that scene in Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts goes back into the dress shop that snubbed her when she was wearing her "hooker clothes" and she went back in after she was all cleaned up with money and says, "big mistake...huge!" That scene came to my mind as I read your post about that church lady. I am firmly convinced that when Christ returns, he will be a "least of these" in some way, shape, or form. Therefore, I say, be nice to everyone. Make eye contact. Say hello. I don't think anyone who reads your blog would think of you as the church lady from your past.

SSM said...

Great post Sibi!

I hope you all have a wonderful time.

Enjoy every moment.

Tracy ~Seeking Refinement~ said...

you are so fabulously gifted and use your life for His kingdom. I just love reading your words of vulnerability and truth. Never once have I thought you were a Holy Roller...and learning more about you confirms it. NewsFlash - you're me. Hello, sister!

I've said it a BA-GILLION times, I so wish I were on my way to the Pearl Event in 2 weeks. I have been keeping my eye on airfare, and it is just so brutal.

BUT - I will be praying for you & can't wait to hear all about it. Better not leave out a single detail, y'all! (just doesn't sound right coming from a SoCal girl, does it?)


paige said...

isn't that awful that so many have that same a church for crying out loud? awful. hypocritical. isolation. hurt.
you encourage so many that were scarred the same way. you have such a powerful message. big hair or not, i love it.
& i love you

Tiffany said...

I know all about some Holy Rollers! ;) I have either been Baptist or Church of God all my life..until the past two years, when I decided NOT to say that. I am a Christian, and child of God, and Jesus lover! Not a denomination...
Anyway, I had a VERY similar experience after I had my firstborn. Though I was "married", he did not attend church with I didn't really FIT into any of the groups/classes either. I undersatnd the different classes and their benefits, however there needs to be some kind of transitional classes or something where WHOSOEVER will "fit".
Another example of this is after "youth". All of a sudden the 18 year olds are adults and can't be in transition at all. I know some churches have these things, but not many. my little rant now...

I love your heart Sibi and I know this event will be Beautiful and full of LOVE!

3 Peanuts said...

So beautiful Sibi and I am sure you allayed some fears. I remember vividly a woman in a Bible study telling me one day that I obviously was not as far along on my walk with the Lord as she was. I wanted to disappear tight then and there. She said it in front of the whole group!

Now I have the wisdom and confidence and I would say, "I didn't know it was a race." But back then, I shrunk n my seat with embarrassment.

Tonight, I am speaking to a group of married couples at our church and one of the first things I tell them is that my marriage is not perfect and I yell at my kids sometimes:) I pepper my talk with examples of how I (we) have messed up as spouses and parents and what we do to try to get it right (failing regularly though).

I know y'all are going to be GREAT!

Sheri said...

awesome post! i simply cannot wait to meet you and the other amazing women! thanks for sharing :) xo

shannon p said...

God Bless You...There are no words to describe the Blessing that you are. Only HE gives you the words to meet so. many. women. right. where. they.are....If the Pearl event were not sold out, I would be going with bells on ..(well more than bells on, also some Pearls) ;)***Insert tears here *** A Women's Ministry is and has been bubbling in my heart and Spirit. Because I am still praying for the Lord to show me where, when, how this will be birthed, I saturate myself in HIM while I pray and wait for his answer. Your posts are a part of the saturation. Love to you and God Bless! I pray you have another Pearl Event next year :)

shannon p said...

God Bless You...There are no words to describe the Blessing that you are. Only HE gives you the words to meet so. many. women. right. where. they.are....If the Pearl event were not sold out, I would be going with bells on ..(well more than bells on, also some Pearls) ;)***Insert tears here *** A Women's Ministry is and has been bubbling in my heart and Spirit. Because I am still praying for the Lord to show me where, when, how this will be birthed, I saturate myself in HIM while I pray and wait for his answer. Your posts are a part of the saturation. Love to you and God Bless! I pray you have another Pearl Event next year :)

Kathie Truitt said...

Fine! If we're not 'holy rollin' and bitin' heads off snakes then I'm not comin'....
All joking aside, I know what you mean. I HATE when people put so much emphasis on 'what to wear' to church and how we MUST wear our very, very best for HIM. I'm with you, Sibi....he doesn't care one iota what we have on, and I don't think to 'dress up' is to necessarily show respect. There are some days that I feel like dressing up for church and some that I don't. But either way....I ALWAYS wear my cowboy boots. And yep....sometimes I get lots of stares. Not admiring ones either. I feel sorry for those people.