Remember To Love

Image: Huffington Post ~ Sept. 11th  Anniversary Coverage

I'm remembering today. Honoring today. Praying for those who lost so much ten years ago today.

Those who have an empty space that can never be filled.

For all of those who lost sons and daughters.

Mothers and Fathers.

Brothers and Sisters.

Praying that the only One who can truly comfort would cover and hover and pour out His love upon them today...

I'm remembering today ....

We were there.

There are no words that can describe. No human prayer big enough to cover the loss. To ease the pain.


If you have family who loves you ......who wants you......call them. Go and see them. Hug them. Make up and apologize to one another. Find the best in one another. Overlook their shortcomings. Pray for them. Forgive them. Bless them. Write to them. Prefer them over yourself.......remember to love.

I'm holding my babies and my husband tight today.

A Better Plan

This morning the home phone rang at the crack of dawn and it was her.

It was my first born gift. 

My Macey Girl.  

That sweet thing that still sits in my lap and has a
thick as Aunt Jemima syrup southern drawl that melts my heart every single time I hear it.

She has a "sing songy" professional happy person personality and can have me in stitches within minutes.

I love my baby girl. Twenty one years and eight months old worth of love.

With a heart the size of Texas and a personality that could land her a talk show of her very own.

She has a razor sharp quick wit and I mean razor sharp beyond her years.

She can hold her own....Lord can she ever.

She is an old soul. A lover of children, home, family and every hair care product ever made.

She walks with a quiet faith. I love that about her....

I've watched her grow and blossom and hit some bumps during these 21 years and 8 months.

I've watched the very definition of grace be made manifest in her life and watched her begin to walk in her own understanding of that very word.

As I was listening to her share her world with me this morning, while stepping over toddlers hanging on my legs. While packing the Star Wars lunch box, while trying to rescue a naked three year old who had accidentally locked himself inside the SUV. While trying to find just one pair of matching knee socks.

I stopped everything and remembered.

When it was just us.

In January of 1990 on the tenth day.

When God Himself called me to my life long dream of becoming a Mother.

There wasn't a bring home outfit, or birth announcement or a wedding band on my left hand.

But He was there. Hovering over me and my brand new baby girl. I realize that now....

And I had never loved anything as much as I loved that child.

 I was eighteen years old and not a dime to my name but I loved her.....

I didn't know the proper and exact "by the book" way to do things and did not have the money that would afford giving her the most beautiful nursery and all the things that go along with that.

But I loved her.

I wasn't anything close to the perfect Mother and made many wrong decisions.

But I loved her.

And no hell or high water was going to take her away from me.

We walked through our fair share of those very things.  Book worthy things.

We have known sorrow and heartache and the very definition of what it means to overcome hardship.

But if we hadn't walked through those things I don't know that Macey would be who she is today.

And I love who she is. And who God has called her to be.


My second dream after motherhood was to be a professional dancer. Years of training and lessons gave me the chance to do just that. I wanted to move to NYC and dance my way into destiny and never stop.

It was my passion.

But God had a different plan.

And I am so thankful for that now.

I wouldn't trade it for all the pointe shoes and theater performances in the entire world.

After ten years of single motherhood, I met and married my precious husband.

He asked Macey's permission to marry me. (She said "Yes!")

He proposed to me and then to Macey on bended knee.

He gave an engagement ring to me and then a diamond cross to Macey.

"I want to be a Father to you baby and we are going to be a family." He meant it. Every word of it.

Melt me.

He said vows to me and then to Macey on our wedding day.

Melt me.

He danced with me at our reception and then with Macey.

Melt me.

Talk about a recompense.........


My husband had a big dream too.

I remember many conversations about his dream to play in the NFL.

He was blessed with a full scholarship to play for a major university in college. (the one where the bank has to close early on game day and all the bank ladies wear dangly earrings in team colors. None other than the SEC!)

His dream was to eventually play in the NFL and he had all the talent and ability to do just that.

And then it happened.

A major knee injury during a practice changed everything.

His dream of playing in the NFL was over.

I remember the day we were sitting together talking about how the injury changed everything and I asked one simple question.


"Honey, what was the month and year that all of this happened?"


"April of 1989."


I just stood there in complete shock and awe and disbelief.


I remember him standing there staring at me.


"Do you know the month and the year that I became pregnant with Macey?"


"April of 1989."


God had a different plan. A better plan. A family plan.


We could not believe how God orchestrated things on our behalf years before we would even realize what had happened. That two very young people with two very big and very different dreams would be turned toward a new plan, His plan, during the exact month of the exact year in the exact same state.

I doubt we ever would have met one another if he had been drafted into the NFL because this girl has never set foot inside an NFL game.  I'm also fairly convinced that my husband would never have set foot inside a major theater in the middle of Manhattan~ especially not the ballet.

So maybe, just maybe and this is just a thought......

Right now whatever you are going through, walking through, pushing through is part of a greater plan. A plan with a purpose so grand you couldn't have orchestrated it if you tried. A purpose so full of destiny that no eye has seen and no ear has heard of such wonder and goodness.

There is a man who will love you and love your children as if they were his own. You can raise children as a single mother with very little money, without the love and support of family and friends, without status, things, position, titles and degrees and they will turn out to be wonderful human beings.

I want to encourage you today to scoop those babies up in your arms, eat peanut butter and jelly to keep the lights on if you have to and sing His praises for what He is about to do in your life.

It's just a better plan.

His plan.

The best is yet to come sweet friends.....

"Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." 1 Corinthians 2:9

The Waiting Room

I can remember being on the outside looking in. Leaning against the glass separating me between faith,  the substance of things hoped for, and the manifestation of that faith.

The miracle.

I've had my face pressed against the waiting room side of faith for most of my life.

Pressed hard against those places called hope and patience and good things come to those who wait.

The waiting room.

God's personal holding pattern.

His promises are "Yes and Amen." But His answers are sometimes "I have a different plan" or in the case of my own personal testimony in many different areas.

"Wait."

I have memories of waiting and believing. Waiting and praising Him in the midst. Waiting only to end up with closed doors. Waiting for my turn to finally come only to be blindsighted with another trauma. Another heartache.

Waiting and crying myself to sleep because the two most beautiful pink lines in the entire world didn't appear on my stick. Years of that type of waiting. That sacrificial waiting . Holy waiting. Waiting with a praise in my heart for everybody else's baby that was born. For every birth announcement in the mail. For every beautiful, glowing expectant mother I saw over and over again.


There isn't anything more beautiful than a woman who is expecting.


Except for the day when what she was expecting has been made manifest and is finally in her arms.


The miracle.


And by His grace I have six of my own.


Grateful me....


I remember waiting for my husband to propose. And thinking that if he didn't I was absolutely going to die and somebody would have to bury me and my entire collection of little girl dreams and Martha Stewart magazines along with me.

I'm southern for heavens' sake.

And southern girls dream about their wedding day and talk about their wedding day and plan on their wedding day from the time they are old enough to twirl.

And I might as well have been born carrying a bouquet.


Last year on May 20 I celebrated ten years of marriage with my husband. For our anniversary all I wanted was to see the babies.


Not your average ten year anniversary gift but that is what my heart wanted...

I needed to stand next to someone else's miracle.

Because last May 20 I was believing God for a few things in my own life. A whole list of them actually.

And when you are believing God for a miracle in your own life there isn't anything that will jumpstart your faith quicker than standing next to somebody else's.

And I happen to personally believe that the greatest miracle on earth is the gift that is a newborn baby.

He drove me downtown to the hospital and walked me straight up to the waiting room of the maternity floor and stood back and waited for me.

There were some deep breaths and tears fell and I whispered to Him the desires of my heart.

Right there in that waiting room.

Right there on the "I'm believing God for...." side of the glass.

He spoke to my heart.

I heard the Father whisper to me that morning...

"Right now you are in the waiting room. But soon, you are going to be in the delivery room both in the spiritual and in the natural."

Big sigh.

If you've visited here before you may remember that I was already expecting and had absolutely no idea.

He had gone before me.

Any woman who has ever been "expectant" knows a thing or two about waiting.

But the delivery.... The bringing forth of that which was promised to you. The birthing of that which was once a prayer request, a heart cry, a dream within the deep places. It makes all the waiting worth while.

Maybe your " delivery" is graduation day or adoption day. Maybe it is the contract on the sale of your home or the acceptance of your offer on one. Maybe it is the first day on the job of your dreams. Or the
wedding day you've waited a lifetime for..

You will deliver sweet friend.

It's going to happen.

You may be safe and sound in His holding pattern right now.

Pacing back and forth in the waiting room. But it is going to happen. You are going to deliver. One day at the appointed time, you will walk across the stage and receive your diploma. You will walk down the aisle and have a partner in this life. You will have the job you have dreamed about. You will have your song published and your book published and your screen play published. You will fulfill the call that is on your life. You will go on that missionary trip and love those children who have no hope. You will learn to trust again. Love again. Hope again. Dream again. Begin again. Start over again.......

Don't depise the waiting room.


My prayer for you today, on this Labor day is that the hope which is within you. That which you've discounted, pushed aside or allowed to die. That today, maybe you would allow God to do a beautiful work in you this morning. That those special things, dreams and ideas would be stirred up again and would begin to grow and that at the appointed time.....you would deliver.


" Each young woman's turn came to go in to King Ahasuerus AFTER she had completed twelve months' preparation, according to the regulations for the women, for thus were the days of their preparation apportioned: six months with oil of myrrh, and six months with perfumes and preparations for beautifying women." Esther ~ 2:12

I absolutely love what God calls the waiting room in His word.....

Beauty Preparations.

Waiting makes us beautiful if we will allow it....

Courage Creates Change

Photo Credit: The Help.Com

Well. I finally got to see it yesterday afternoon. Finally.
I went with my gift of a girlfriend next door neighbor and her best friend.

I told her we had to wear our pearls.

I felt it was a pearl worthy event.

Lord knows I haven't been to the movies with a girlfriend in years.

Thank you to my sweet husband who loved on five babies so I could have a little break.

I have been waiting with bated breath to experience on the big screen the
522 page book I devoured in two days.

I may not have cooked, cleaned or folded a single piece of clothing during the reading of this novel.

It is a page turner times ten.

If you haven't seen the movie yet and you haven't read the book either, my humble suggestion is to do yourself a favor and read the book first.

There are little details that go by very quickly on the big screen that you may miss if you haven't read the book. (Like what was written on the check when Hilly opened her letter for one)

The folks seated to my right kept asking their one friend who had read the book a bunch of questions during the movie!

We did not get to sit together. The movie was packed out on a Sunday afternoon even four days after opening day.

Go early. Especially if you want two or more seats together and bring tissues.

Or if you are like me and forgot your tissues, just use the sleeves of the sweater you wore tied around your neck. As long as you don't mind your sweater being covered with black mascara and tears.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the movie. There are too many to count!!  It was life changing for me and I am still wrecked on so many levels this morning after a 4:15 showing yesterday afternoon.

I fell in love with Skeeter and Minny and Aibileen during the reading of the book.

I loved their courage above all else.

Courage creates change.

Courage changes lives.

Courage causes the very reason God created us to come forth and causes fear to take the back seat.

Sometimes we have to be willing to lose everything to discover the reason He created us.

Sometimes (a lot of times) friends will not agree with the thing that you are called to do.  Do it anyway.

One of my favorite parts of the movie (there are SO many)  is the first time Aibileen says to Mae Mobley...

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important. "

I lost it.

When Mae Mobley repeated it back to her later on in the movie.

Forget it.

The sweater sleeves were dripping with mascara.

Our children have deep wells within that hold and remember the words we speak over them.

I have to speak more life.  I have to take motherhood up a few more notches.

More goodness. More love. More wisdom. More encouragement.

Because the world is sitting on ready to tell them otherwise.

Maybe Skeeter had the courage to write and fulfill her calling because of the years of life Constantine had spoken over her as a child.

When they flashed that very moment on the screen and Constantine spoke those words about choosing not to believe the negative things people say about you and how ugly is something that "live up on the inside."

Lost it again. For about the tenth time.

Another one of my favorite parts was at the end when Aibileen said this.....

 "No one had ever asked me how it felt to be me. When I finally got to share it............ I felt free. "

It wrecked me.

There is something about sharing our story.

Sharing our testimony.

The bad things turned into good things. The ashes turned into beauty. The mourning turned into joy.

It takes courage.

It changes lives.


Have you read the book or seen the movie yet?  What did you love the most?