Friday, November 29, 2013

I Give Thanks

I wake up this morning to the glorious.

The sun beaming. Fireplace burning. Coffee brewing. Five babies stirring, scattering, calling for me.

In ten syllables they call for me. Again and again.

I breathe it in and breathe it out.

These days are precious. I'm going to long for them one day.

This I know.

The phone rings and proves me right.

It is my girl.

My Macey girl calls. She is so grown up. A college graduate. Living and fully supporting herself.

She is beauty and brains and a heart that overflows with compassion.

She is a gifted creative and has a razor sharp quick wit. She is hilarious and fun and she gets it.

She gets me. I am fully known by this child of mine.

She has seen the best and the worst of me. And yet. She chooses to love me…

I breathe in her laughter and the sound of her voice.

I can't believe that she is mine. 

She is glory and grace and goodness in 5 feet 6 inches and I'm humbled every time she calls my name.


This is my name. It is all I have known for nearly 24 years. 

I love that she is the one who made me a mother. Two least likely's in everyone's book but His.

My husband of almost 14 years is home. He is here with us. 

We have survived much.

We have lived out our vows in long days and long years.

For better. For worse.

For richer. For poorer.

In sickness. In health.

We know the words well. He has carried us through seasons that I never knew would be ours.

I am humbled and grateful and thankful.

I breathe in what we have created together and I can't believe we can call this our own.

Five scrumptious babies and an incredible 23 year old gift that we do not deserve.

We sip our coffee and inhale the beautiful exhaustion that is our life, every, single, day.

My heart - singing.

I am thankful.

Not for things. Not for stuff. 

Stuff is meaningless. 

I am thankful for the sound.

The sound of six children breathing life.

The sound of their voices calling for me. 

The sound of their feet bringing me the gospel. 

Bringing me living proof that God is good and that He is Who He says He is.

No matter what it looks like. Or sounds like right now.

The sound of prayers being prayed. Thanks being given. His name being lifted up.

The sound of freedom in this place.

The sound of a husband who would move heaven and earth to provide for us. Love us. Protect us.

The sound of two wedding rings that clink against coffee cups. Even still.

I am thankful.

We reminisce about many years. Many Thanksgivings. We have known plenty and we have known less than. We are thankful for the refining fire and for the unraveling. We thank Him for how He's changed us. Humbled us. Processed us.

We know that after pain comes purpose.

Just as it is with labor and delivery.

9 times I have carried life. 

Three times we've lost.

And I look at all we've gained. 

He has given us our inheritance in children.

I can think of no greater riches. No greater gift. 

We talk about all that we have overcome. We can hardly believe it all. 

But we know Him now in ways in which we've never known Him before.

I know that must have been part of the plan.

He is always trying to reveal Himself to us. Sometimes the only way is through suffering.

The scripture may the Lord bless you and keep you has new meaning.

If He blesses us, can He truly keep us?

He had to unravel us to fully get to us.

I am thankful.

We have known Him as Provider. 

As Redeemer.

As Restorer.

As Healer.

As Protector.

As Comforter.

Again and again and again.

He answers. He reveals.

Sometimes with a closed door. An answer that sounds like no. A period of time that is worse than wait. It is simply to wait without a date. Sometimes with a whisper of hope. Through a drawing from tiny hands. Through the rocking of worry in the midnight hour, I hear Him say…."Do you trust me?"

I nod and rock and think and I thank Him that I do not have to know the end from the beginning.

I give that piece back to Him.

I can just be.

I can just be thankful that He is the author and the finisher and He sees and He knows and He has a purpose and a plan and it is not anything I could have written for myself.

My pen could never have filled the pages in this way.

I would have left out all the pain.

I breathe it in today.

The years the locust have eaten and the years that He has restored.

I give thanks for every sound today…..

I give thanks for Who He Is.

For His Pen. For His Glory. For His Purpose. For His Plan. 

Breathe Him in today beautiful friends and give thanks...

No matter what. 

I pray this song blesses you. It is one of my absolute favorites….

Photo Credit: Paige Knudsen


Adriana Krueger said...

I love this Sibi. I am thankful to have known you and to have called you friend. Blessings always. xoxo.

Love Being A Nonny said...

I love your heart.

paige said...

always full of grace
always full of love
& always giving him the glory

love you friend

Love Being A Nonny said...

I know I have already commented, BUT, these pictures are amazing! The picture of Big Daddy and Macie Girl speak without speaking. What a gift! Would you have EVER thought at the time you had her that you would be so blessed? Amazing Jesus. Love you!

Belen Gimeno said...

Oh my God, what incredible words!
You're so talented and for that I give you thanks, Sibi.
These pictures are amazing, I love full of life!.
Thank you for your blog,

Belén ( from Spain)

Robinanne said...

Your blog has filled a huge gap for me. I look forward to reading backwards and forward from here. You have become a friend without knowing it. Thank you friend!

Mrs.B said...

This is a beautiful and words. Even the comments...lives are touched by this blog. Truly.

Sibi said...

Thank you all so much for your kind words and for your encouragement. It means so much to me….xoxo

Kristen said...

I just love you Sibi. It makes my heart happy to see your life so blessed. Thank you for sharing. You are such an inspiration to me.