What Is Your Nineveh?

Out of a place of love and forgiveness I have shared pieces of my story here over the years.  My desire has always been to glorify God in the sharing of those pieces. I have walked through the unraveling of years of heartache and the process that is searching for identity when you were raised without one.

I  have shared here over the years with the hope that the words that I write would point you to His word and ultimately point you to Him.

To simply say this....

If God did it for me...

He will do it for you.

If God brought me out...

He will bring you out too.

It says so in His word.

He is no respecter of persons.

I know there are believers who feel that we shouldn't share our past. That we should forget and move on. That we should forgive and forget. That to share what we have been through is to "glorify the enemy."

I believe we should forgive and move on with life. But I disagree that we should never share our stories. Never share our testimonies.

To share what we've been through- out of a place of love and forgiveness. Out of a place of awe and wonder. Out of the right heart-

Is to bring glory to God.

How can I tell you how big God has been in my life if I never share how bad it was before Him?
If I never share my mistakes and failures and poor decisions as well as circumstances that were carved by the enemy to destroy my life?

How can I tell you that I know, I hear you and I understand- If I never tell you how I know?

How can I tell you that you will rise above your circumstances, trials and unfortunate situations if I never testify that I know for certain that you will because He did it for me and let me tell you how He did.

If the emphasis is on God, His faithfulness, His mercy, His goodness and His grace ..

If the heart is flowing with forgiveness and compassion...

If you are sharing out of the right heart and the right spirit...

Then I believe it is a blessing to share. For everyone.

His word says that we are set free by the word of our testimonies.

I have personally experienced this scripture...over and over and over again.

To use what the enemy meant for harm to destroy me then - is to bring glory to God now.

It makes a believer out of us over and over again.

I have felt the Father prompting me, instructing me to share my testimony in a series format for a while now.

I have pressed it down. Pushed it aside. Argued with Him. Questioned my own ability to do so properly. And have found myself positioned much like Jonah when God instructed Him to "Go to Nineveh!"

And Jonah refused.

I have my own Nineveh with God.

We all do.

That place in our hearts that we are constantly pressing down, pushing aside and questioning...

God is that you? Are you really asking me to do that? Are you really asking me to reconcile?

To offer forgiveness, again? To sow into someones life who has hurt me, talked about me, used me?

To create another Pearl Event? To create "Mini Pearl" Events and travel to several cities to host them?

To publish the 6 week bible study I wrote and taught this year?

To gather a board and create a 501c3 for this ministry?

To write my 41 year whirlwind of a personal testimony in a series format and share it on this blog?

To publish His story of hope in my life in a beautiful book of pictures and words?

Ninevehs.

All of them.

God leads, instructs, prompts us to do one thing and we do another.

He tells us to go to "Nineveh" and we make a bee line for "Tarshish."  Jonah 1: 2-3

He tells us to go in one direction and we run from God and what He is trying to do in our life. We offer up bits and pieces of trust and obedience to a Father who is requiring fullness.

He is not interested in partial obedience or partial trust.

Sitting and waiting is an act of disobedience.

Waiting until we "understand" what on earth God is trying to do is disobedience.

One would think at this point in my walk with the Father that my Ninevehs would be far and few.

But there are days I want to run from my own Nineveh with God. When life is overwhelming enough already. When I've just completed what He asked of me and He asks me for more. When I've trusted Him to move mountains in my life and He didn't move them the way that I wanted Him to. When I'm focused on my circumstances and heartaches. When I've just barely executed one Pearl Event by His grace alone and He asks for another one.

I remind Him that I have six children and a husband who lost his job the week of Thanksgiving last year and He still hasn't replaced that loss. I remind Him of how I haven't slept for more than a few hours a night in the last ten years. I remind Him that I am exhausted. That I'm worn out. That I never have time alone with my husband or with myself for that matter. That I look around and I see failure and reminders of all that is left undone. I remind Him of anything and everything and how on earth can He expect me to do anything at this point! 

Forgive me Father....

God is always stretching us. Shaping us. Growing us. Molding us.

Once we believe Him for one thing He will take us through circumstances that will require us to believe Him all over again and on an entirely different level for something else.

Sometimes we want to be obedient but we are so afraid of what others will do or say or think.

We have to be willing to let go of that....

I want to encourage you to sit with the Father today and write down all of the Ninevehs in your life.

Those things that God has instructed us to do and we've pressed them down, pushed them aside or simply questioned if it was even God at all.

Offer that list up to Him in prayer and ask Him to highlight to you and impress upon your heart which one to do first.

This isn't a way to earn His love.

We couldn't possibly. He already loves us more than we could ever know.

This is about trusting Him on a new level, a greater obedience and searching for any place in our heart where we are running from God.

I know He will meet you there and whisper His plans for your life. 

Trust Him.