Friday, February 29, 2008

Spring Awakening

Oh how I just love this time of year. Truly. Springtime just makes my heart sing. Even though it's still winter here in the northeast- the stores, catalogs, and flower shops all sing Springtime to me! I am one of those people. You know, some may call me a "Chreaster". One who loves to celebrate Christmas and Easter . I use to be a churchy "Chreaster"- the person who only attends on Christmas and Easter. But there were some good reasons. I had no reason to go really. I spent years thinking God was angry with me or worse, that He hated me. I also spent years believing the lie that I didn't belong there or that I wasn't good enough. After all, I felt I had been branded with the scarlet letter on my chest for having my first born gift at the age of 18 years old. I wasn't married and fresh out of high school. I had no idea the depth of judgement that would come my way. I also had no idea how absolutely madly and passionately in absolute love I would fall with my precious baby girl. In addition I had no idea just how much God did love me and there wasn't a lot of His love being demonstrated to tell me otherwise. I spent many years out of the church. I couldn't stand those church ladies. I despised their hurtful comments and was tired of being the target for their judgement and criticism. This went on for years, right there in the heart of the "bible belt". Why there is a church on every corner in Tennessee. There were cookouts and dinners and bible studies and family nights and on and on. But I can't recall one person who showed me the undeniable, irrefutable , irresistible love of God. That is until I met my husband. I could hardly believe this wonderful, gorgeous, successful man of God had room in his heart for not only me, but for my precious girl as well. I couldn't believe the level of love and acceptance I felt from him. He loved me and loved my daughter with a supernatural
love I had never known. I felt loved. safe. protected. accepted and most importantly part of something for once in my life. I will never forget the day he proposed to not only me but to my daughter as well. As he went down on one knee and spoke words of life to my broken spirit and soul, I felt the Father's love. I felt as though God reached down and kissed me right on my forehead - it was as if HE were saying you are mine daughter and this is a gift for you- just because I love you I am giving you the innermost dream and desire of your heart-to belong to someone and to have a family of your own. That's the day I decided I would become the other kind of "chreaster". No longer would I sit and miss out on my blessings because of the lack of knowledge of others.  God literally moved us the month of our wedding to the Northeast. It was here in the land of "the frozen chosen" that I experienced a new depth in God and found inner healing and many blessings for my thirsty soul. It has not been easy but I am thankful for it. I am thankful too for the beauty that this season brings and for all that it represents to me. For years I felt like mounds of dirt were piled on top of me. Now I feel that God may be causing something special to spring forth. I love the newness ,freshness and the beauty of Spring and for all the love that Easter represents. He Is Risen. He is alive. He has a plan. His promise comes every year with the gift of spring. That He is working and creating and arranging and orchestrating our lives. May you be blessed with your own spring awakening in this most glorious season.

11 comments:

Sharon said...

What a beautifully written and heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing that, it made my day.

Lori said...

Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing part of your story and for such honesty. Your husband sounds like a very special man indeed. :)

Heather said...

Oh my golly - I was completely moved and touched by this beautiful post. I am so thankful the Lord brought your wonderful husband to show His devotion to you and even more thankful that your heart was open to receive what He had in store for you. I agree with Sharon, thank you for sharing...you made my whole day:)

Blessings,
Heather

Janet said...

What a beautiful and moving testimony. Your words are so encouraaging and point to the God we all want more of in our lives. I've marked your blog as a favorite. I can't wait to read more.

Jodee Leader said...

What a beautiful post! I am so glad you and your hubby found each other! Life is so much better with a great husband!

magnoliabelle said...

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story! As always, your gift of words moved me!

Impoverished Preppy said...

A beautiful post. I admire your strength in choosing to keep your daughter and raise her yourself. I'm glad that God has blessed you so completely.

Lori said...

Thank you for the sweet words on my blog this morning. :)

Sunni at The Flying Mum said...

I love Spring too, and stashing Easter basket treats for my daughter in the closet weeks before Easter!

Beautiful story!

Cora from Country Patches said...

How very blessed to have Christ Himself and all His Grace and compassion delivered to you in human form in your husband!!!!! Sadly, your story is repeated thousands of times over, and these young women AND their children walk out of the doors of churches, never to return again. I pray that that every reader of your blog will embrace a single Mom this week, find ways to help them, and show them Christ's love and compassion and infinite grace! Thank you so much for sharing! Cora

He Knows My Name said...

thank you for stopping by my blog. it was certainly not by chance. because your life story gives me hope for my daughter and son. your description of ourself sounds so much like what i feel my kids are feeling. one is sowing signs of mellowing but the other pretty much hates to be around christians, christian music and us. thank you for sharing what our God of hope has done in your amazing life.