They Owe You Nothing ~ {Day Eight }

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Welcome to Day Eight in a 31 Day Series

31 Days To Becoming His Pearl

One of the things that I struggled most with for a very long time was extending forgiveness.

It is also something that I believe  many others struggle with in relationships too. 

Offense is such a trap.

If the enemy can just get us offended, all manner of things can start to take place to unravel God's purposes and plans.

Earlier this year, I was quietly offering things to the Father in prayer. 

And He responded in this way.

I want you to forgive this person.

I responded that I had forgiven them. 

And He responded in this way.

Say these words....

"They owe me nothing."

I sat there completely stunned. I could not say it. 

I had no words. Only tears. Because I could not fully comprehend what He was suggesting.

They owe me nothing?

Not an apology.

Not an explanation.

Not ownership for the wrong doing.

Not remorse or sorrow.

And not even a single attempt to try and make it right on their end.

He was teaching me true forgiveness, that to fully forgive also means this......

They owe me nothing. 

So if they never, ever, apologize. Or take ownership. Or try and make it right on their end....

They still owe us nothing.

Because once the offense comes, we can try and forgive but,  we can also still feel in our hearts that the person owes us something.

And if we do in fact, have any ought in our hearts and we do in fact, feel that they owe us - anything. We can rest assured that we have not fully forgiven. 

Because if we hold onto things and we feel justified and we harbor bitterness and resentment toward a person and try and reconcile it in our hearts that once they apologize and once they fix their mistake or once they are truly sorry....

Then we will forgive them.

And on and on we fill our mental card catalogs with every offense known to man. 

This is completely opposite of how the kingdom works.

He asks us to fully forgive anyway.

He knows that holding on to unforgiveness will cause us so much harm.

It will also block our blessings.

Peace. Joy. Happiness. Healing. Mercy and Grace for our own life.  And on and on....

Here is the truth....

God wants to right the wrongs. He wants to fight the battles. He wants to be our defender. He wants to make it up to you. He wants to heal our broken places and bind up our wounds. He wants to turn the key to the King's heart on your behalf. He wants to offer us a recompense. One that we've never imagined in our wildest dreams.....

Extending forgiveness to the offender does not mean that what the person did is okay. It is not okay.

It does not mean we are giving them permission to cause harm again. We may need to remove ourselves from this person.

It does not mean that we are in agreement with the offender. We can disagree and still fully forgive.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.

It releases us from the bondage of constantly rehearsing the offense over and over again and feeling those bad feelings every time we hear that persons name or every time we see that person.

I want to leave you with this encouragement today....

Look specifically at one tiny word in this verse from Acts 7:9-10

AND.

But God was with him AND delivered him out of all his troubles, AND gave him favor AND wisdom in the presence of Pharaoh, king of Egypt; AND made him governor over Egypt AND all his house.

Here's the thing.

We know that Joseph was wronged and mistreated and even hated by his envious brothers.

But he chose to forgive them anyway. For all of it.

This story is a beautiful picture of what God can do when we truly and fully forgive.

God can do amazing and incredible and big things that are beyond our wildest dreams.

And it's always MORE than one thing.

Look at all that He did for Joseph. God is no respecter of persons.

He wants to use those three little letters in our life too.

What is the "and" you are waiting on in life?

Maybe He is waiting on you. 

Maybe He is waiting on you to empty the card catalog you have filed with 35 years of offense- all nicely and neatly categorized- and extend forgiveness. 

Maybe He's waiting on you to fully release the person and the offense. 

Today is the day to empty that card catalog.  There is no need for any of us to waste another precious day offended.

Today, turn to your journal and list the offenses you've been carrying and list those who have caused the offense.

Then try writing these words to Him.

Today I choose to forgive __________ for ____________ and I release them to you Lord.

I ask for forgiveness from You Father, for harboring unforgiveness toward the following individuals.

I ask that you would fill those places in my heart that still ache with pain and sorrow because of the offense, with Your great love and healing power, in Jesus' precious name.

He is faithful to pour out in the most unimaginable ways beautiful friends....

"You intended to harm me, BUT GOD intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. "  ~ Genesis 50:20

"And the patriarchs, becoming envious, sold Joseph into Egypt. BUT GOD was with him and delivered him out of all his troubles, and gave him favor and wisdom in the presence of Pharaoh, king of Egypt; and made him governor over Egypt and all his house. " Acts 7:9-10 

Your Gift Will Make Room For You ~ {Day Seven}

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Welcome to day seven in a 31 day series

~

~31 Days To Becoming His Pearl ~

"A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men." ~ Proverbs 18:16


This scripture offers great encouragement for those of us who are still wondering what on earth our gift could possibly be.

A truth to cling to when we are convinced that when He assigned gifts to His daughters we surely must have been absent that day.

We know better than to live a life of comparison, but there are days when it can feel as though we honestly have no idea why on earth we were created or what on earth we are called to do or what in the world our gifts are, if there are any at all.

Here is some encouragement for you today.

What do you love to do?

What makes your heart sing?

What do you love to do so much that you would do that for the rest of your life- for free?

What brings you tremendous joy?

Here is some more encouragement for you...

I am convinced that it is more than one thing.

Because our Heavenly Father is incredibly generous.

He did not create us with just one gift.

There are layers and depths of giftings inside you.

We discover our gifts as we follow Him and pursue the things we are passionate about.

We were created to use our life to bring glory to God by pursing our purpose with great passion.

We discover our gifts when we create a life that we love.

We may need to make some changes. We may need to change lanes in life, so to speak.

Some of us may need to make a five lane change.

A complete life makeover.

Where we change, jobs, cities, friends- all of it.

Sometimes this is necessary in order to move forward into a life that He is has called us to.

The other part of the truth behind this scripture is this...

We do not have to climb or push or manipulate our way.

Our gifts will make room for us.

There is more than enough in the kingdom.

Including making room for every, single person and her gifts.

So what if you love to write and sing and dance?

 Do what you love.

Be you.

You are amazing.

And the world needs your amazing self.

Who has convinced you that your passions are ridiculous? That you are too old? Or that it is too late?

Who has convinced you that if you were going to do something like that- you should have started a long time ago?

Who has rejected your writing gift and told you to stash that dream?

Chances are that you are called to write something that is going to change the world.

The more we are rejected in an area, the chances are that we are actually called to the very thing where we have experienced rejection.

Rejection is a purpose destroyer.

Destroying our purpose is the only reason it exists.

So today, write in your journal every possible thing that you love to do.

Write the vision and make it plain.

Then begin to design your life to be full of the things that you love.

And there, you will discover and unlock and unleash the very reasons He created you.....

The things that you love are attached to your purpose. 

And your gift will make room for you and bring you before great men.

Today is the day to begin....

The Engraved Invitation ~ Day Six

Welcome to Day Six in a 31 Day Series

~31 Days To Becoming His Pearl~

See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands ; your walls are ever before me. ~ Isaiah 49:16


This scripture is a beautiful engraved invitation.

The Father inviting us. Calling us unto Himself, to lean in close.

He opens this scripture with the word, see. 

It is a loving offer, extending relationship to His children.

The truth that the God of all creation wants each and every one of us to be mindful that He
is ever mindful of each and every, one of us is an incredible thing.

Not only is He mindful. But He longs to draw us unto Himself.

He wants us to be still and know. He wants us to trust in Him.

Our names are engraved. Inscribed. They are deeply impressed.

They have been carved. Never to be removed. 

Your name is permanently etched.

He invites us to see. To know. To be reminded of this truth in this scripture in Isaiah 49:16.

This invitation offers great comfort when life becomes too much to bear.

When life hurts and when life leaves us breathless and completely undone.

When we can't for the life of us gather any kind of understanding, but choose Him in spite of it all.

We can hold our hands wide open, fully surrendered to Him and His ways and His great love
because we have a hope and we have faith and although we may not have understanding, we can
trust that the same God who engraved our names on the palms of His hands has our lives lovingly planned.

No matter what.

Even if that means that He may ask us to surrender our babies.

The babies we've prayed for and hoped for and longed for.

The babies we've already called by name.

The babies we've already made spaces and places for in our hearts and our homes.

And sometimes, He may call us to deliver their precious bodies and then He will ask us to surrender.

He will unravel us in the middle of a delivery room and require of us the very thing we never dreamed He would.

He will reach down with the same hands that are engraved with our names and theirs and He will ask of us an offering almost too great to bear.

He will ask of us our children.

The ones who belonged to Him all along.

Sometimes we are the ones who are called to the unbearable sorrow of an offering of that magnitude.

And sometimes we are the ones who are called to walk with the ones who have given that sacrifice.

I have been honored to walk with some very dear friends who gave such an offering.

Our beautiful friends Sarah and Jonathan Cantrell. 

Two years ago on this very day, Sarah delivered their boys, David Casswell and John Wilson.

And the Father asked her for the unthinkable. 

He leaned down with engraved hands and asked that instead, they spend eternity with Him.

And never one day here on earth with their parents.

Glorious suffering.

The weight and the magnitude of what He's asked of them is beyond comprehension.

And I have walked with this precious couple and witnessed first hand the strength of their faith.

Tried. Tested and True.

Tested by unimaginable fire.

I've witnessed Sarah and Joanthan give and sow and pour and love and offer..... to many in the midst of their own grief and sorrow.

I've witnessed Sarah give baby gifts and host baby showers and preach the gospel and give her testimony about the very goodness of God, with two babies of her own offered up as a remarkable gift.

I've heard her voice, countless times, remind me, in the midst of my own suffering, about the goodness of God.

And about how He is faithful and true.

And that He will never leave us nor forsake us. No matter what.

And so I asked Him to help me give them a special gift.

I wanted to thank them for their friendship and to offer a way to honor their boys today.

And because He is a good Daddy and He loves us so much...

He was faithful with a vision.

And Sarah and Jonathan were willing.

They responded with such gratitude and willing hearts.

And they agreed to allow me to photograph the price that they have paid to follow Him.

Two tiny hospital bracelets and two birth certificates with the tiniest foot prints I have ever seen.

They agreed, to allow me to write the names of their children on the palms of their hands.

And to photograph them.

I prayed that I would be careful with the tiny pieces of their babies delivery day.

I prayed that I would be careful as I wrote out the names of their baby boys on each of their hands.

I prayed that He would anoint the pictures and that Sarah would be able to use them when she ministers and when she invites others into a relationship with Him. Many of whom have lost their babies too. Many of whom have tiny hospital bracelets and tiny footprints on birth certificates but who have had to deliver and offer up their babies as well.

And He reminds us, that we lean not onto our own understanding.

Costly oil. Such a high price.

I'm not sure that I will ever be able to articulate how precious our time together was, as we gathered together in His name to create something that would bring tremendous glory to Him.

What an indescribable gift.

Sarah and Jonathan,

You are Kingdom builders.

Willing and obedient servants who have paid an unbelievable price to point others to Him.

I pray that these photographs cause many hearts to heal and many more to come to know Him.

I pray that they bless you for years to come.

I am completely awestruck by the two of you and count our friendship as one of God's greatest gifts to my family.

Sarah,

I am thankful that God alone, saw fit to weave a beautiful friendship between us.

He went before us.

So that when the suffering came in like a flood....

He had already prepared the pillars to hold up our arms when we simply could not.

You are a beacon of light beautiful friend.

A living epistle of costly oil poured out like an offering before our God.

A sweet fragrance of sacrifice and faith who carries the hope of Glory.

May the ministry He has given you cause great revival to break out in the hearts of His people for a thousand generations.

May He give you a double portion of beautiful children and an abundance of increase so wide that there would not be room enough to receive it all.


Honored to love you.

Sibi

I pray this song and these pictures bring healing balm to your hearts today.....

Grace Upon Grace ~ Day Five

Welcome to Day 5 in a 31 Day Series

~ 31 Days To Becoming His Pearl~ 

"And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace."  John 1:16

Here is a thought to start the day today.

"Mercy is not getting what we deserve. Grace is getting what we don't deserve." ~ Pastor Rob

These are the words from our Pastor many years ago and ones that I do my best to remember daily.

They opened up a sea of understanding and made the Gospel come alive for me.

So much so that once I took hold of the grace message, I named my next child Grace.

God created me with a mercy gift that I have had to learn how to reign in, on many occasions and a heart that is completely bent on grace.

Grace is a word that's power and definition and meaning are so near and dear to my heart that I will flood you with dialog and thoughts about it if you don't have anything better to do and hopefully over a cup of southern pecan coffee.

The years of my life with the missing message of grace was one of the key components that kept me from a relationship with Him from many years.

This missing truth was what kept me believing that I was the oyster shell of my circumstances and that the gift of grace was reserved for the good girls and those who had it all together and for those who were blessed with a wedding ring on their left hand.

It certainly wasn't reserved for an unwed teenage mother.

I wore that scarlet letter on my chest for more than a decade.

Years believing the lie that a holy God could never love a girl like me.

The truth is this:

A holy God died for a girl like me. He rose again for a girl like me. He is seated at the right hand of the Father for a girl like me. He is the way and the truth and the life, for a girl like me.

And for you too.

This is the truth.

Now I wear His grace and that scarlet letter is buried at the foot of the cross where it belongs.

Growing up in a part of the country where there is a church on every corner, yet never hearing the grace message preached or really even demonstrated was incredibly difficult.

And even still. Years later....

I'm still bumping up against the missing grace message.

Like the older woman who told me fairly recently, that I could never be a member of her church because I had been divorced.

Really?? Sign me up.

I had to let her know in all manner of graciousness that she stood corrected.

I have never been divorced.

I had my daughter out of wedlock at the age of 18 years old.

Crickets.

I watched as she tried to adjust the missing grace message, the living and breathing gospel,  in her religious mind set and figure out a category for special people like me.

More crickets.

No judgement....

We've all had our moments.

Many years ago in ministry training there was a word that was used to teach us how to walk with
difficult people, I guess you could say.

"EGR's"

This stands for "extra grace required."

I truly knew very little at the time so I remained quiet, but my heart really wanted to
to stand up in class and make a public service announcement and say something along the lines
of this.....

I'm sorry, but aren't we all EGR's?

I mean.....

Hello.

The last time I checked we all have days where extra grace is required.

We are every, single one, either completely forgetting about grace, insisting on withholding grace or simply needing grace~ by the truckloads.

I don't want to label anyone.

But if you need to label me. I'll take that one all day long.

I want to be the one who contains extra grace so that I have extra grace to give away.

You can't give something away that you don't posses.

And to whom much is given, much is required.

Those who have been forgiven much, love much.

And maybe this is ringing true with you today....

I want to share these three little words to encourage you today.

The same grace.

The same grace that is made readily available to others, is available for you and me.

It isn't reserved and set aside for the select special people. 

It is our portion.

It is our gift.

It is ours to freely receive so that we will freely give it away.

It is for every, single one of us.

It is for the unwed teenage mother, for the family going through divorce and for the couple who have been married for fifty years.  It is for the father who feels that he is failing miserably and the mother who feels she is the perfect mom.  It is for the marriage that is barely managing and the couple who just walked down the aisle. It is for the the person who makes wrong choices and the person who is full of pride about how they are living right. It is for the mama who struggles with a strong willed child and the mama who never has an issue with her obedient child. It is for the woman who feels failure and shame for having to take anti-depressants and the woman who has never taken anything at all. It is for the man who just lost his job and the man who just landed his dream job and has the world by a string. It is for the woman who works the streets at night and for the woman who is home sitting alone. It is for the man who can't wrap his brain around the gift of salvation and for the man who has been in church all of his life.

The same grace. Made readily available to every, single one of us.

Grace upon grace isn't reserved for a certain zip code or a certain denomination.

Grace upon grace is for all of us.

We just ask and He pours. Daily. Hourly.....

May you feel the extraordinary gift of grace of the living God today and may you radically give it away to others.......


For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. ~ Ephesians 2:8-9