For years I would walk away from conversations feeling defeated.
Fill in the blank...
Comments from others would leave me feeling like I had to constantly explain myself.
A better description is that I most often felt like I was walking around trying to do life with a sensor left on my clothes by the girl at the checkout counter. And everywhere I went- an alarm sounded. That alarm was only ringing inside my grief stricken heart but the careless comments by others coupled with the pain of my past, magnified it to the point that I lived in a constant state of sadness and frustration.
"That is some gap!"
"Why did you wait so long to have more children?"
"Wow, I guess you just thought you were done."
"I guess this wasn't exactly planned, was it?"
I wish I could count the times I've wanted to shout from the rooftops....
This gap is the grace of God on my life. This gap is my testimony. This gap is the goodness of
God made manifest in my life. This 13 year gap between my first born and my second born baby girls is nothing more than the very reason I can share the love of Christ with others. This "unplanned gap" as some would like to call it is the very reason I am able to write and teach and share the gospel with others out of a heart of gratitude.
My gap is what qualifies me.
My gap is what set me apart.
This gap is what gives me the ability to connect with others in a way that can only come from a heart knowledge called experience..
I named my GAP and you should too.
I call it God's Awesome Process.
I want to encourage you not to despise your process.
I want to encourage you not to compare yourself with others.
I want to encourage you not to worry that maybe God has forgotten you. Overlooked you. Failed you. Or preferred others over you.
Your just in The GAP beautiful friends.
God's Awesome Process.
Everyone's process is different and I can promise you that He has a purpose and a plan no matter how difficult or painful or heart wrenching your GAP is.
I can testify.
The hard part is not to grow bitter or resentful during the process. The hard part is not to get caught up in comparison during your time of delay. The hard part is not to allow the enemy to convince you that clearly, this just isn't going to work out for you...
For years I was so angry with God and I was convinced He did not love me. That anger manifested in my life through years of depression. It wasn't until I found out the truth- (He loves me!!) and allowed the truth to set me free that I was able to unravel the years the locust had eaten in my life. As I grew in the Lord and gained knowledge and understanding through His word, I finally realized that actually all of those years of suffering and hardship and delay, were just a part of God's Awesome Process.
This reminds me of a scripture in 1 Samuel 1:20
It starts like this... "So it came to pass in the process of time that Hannah conceived and bore a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, "Because I have asked for him from the Lord."
So it came to pass in the process of time.
Maybe this is where you are today- hanging in the balance of the process of time.
Maybe he brought you an amazing spouse and you are in the GAP for a child, a job, a home, a breakthrough or another prayer request.
Here is the good news.
No matter what you are waiting for. Hoping for. Believing God for....
The delay doesn't mean you are denied...
You're just in the GAP.
God's Awesome Process.
The process is what grows our faith. Develops our trust. Matures our hearts and minds. Expands our capacity to love. Teaches us. Trains us. Equips us. Refines us. Polishes, perfects and qualifies us for a much greater purpose.
The many GAPS in my life are what equip me to speak out of a place of heaps of heart knowledge.
It is His spirit and the wisdom of experience that offers real life words of encouragement and hope and comfort.
I have lived this. (by His grace)
I survived this. (by His grace)
I know from experience. (by His grace)
There isn't a text book, professor or class that can teach you what real life can.
Experience will give you a beautiful heart knowledge that can become a love language to His people.
It is your GAP.
So today, if you are feeling like you are walking around in life with a sensor left on your clothes by an inexperienced sales clerk- as if the process you are in, announces your presence before you even set your foot inside the door- be encouraged.
Eventually, it will come to pass in the process of time.
The desires of your heart will be given to you.
He is the one who placed them there in the first place....