A Little Fluff

I thought I would share a few pictures of Bella Grace's room with you! Thought you would enjoy a little fluff in honor of the upcoming month! I absolutely love anything pink and girly. What about you? 

An Interview With The Beautiful Paige Knudsen

I am so excited to share with you this special interview with Paige Knudsen. What an honor and a tremendous blessing for me. Many of you know Paige from her beautiful blog Simple Thoughts. She is very loved in the blog world ! And who doesn't absolutely love her sense of style, ( that house!) the way she loves her family and her heart for the Lord ( my kind of girl) and those gorgeous photographs! But recently my admiration of her doubled and tripled into complete and total awe after I read her Dec. 8th blog post.


 Many of her loyal readers will remember it by the fact that you had to stop reading and get the Kleenex.  I was absolutely blown away. By her story. (I had no idea) By her testimony (Go God!) And I was blown away by her ability to keep the faith. (How did she manage?) That was it! I had to know and I think all of you should know as well. I pray you are inspired today.

May I present.....

An Interview with the beautiful Paige Knudsen:

The Same God

P and G: I was so moved by your December 8th blog post in which you shared pieces of your amazing story. Would you mind to share your story again for those who are new readers?

Paige:  First of all sweet friend I am so touched by your desire to know a little about my story. It's a strange dichotomy ....the "me" now living in what seems like a fairy tale with my soul mate, 13 years after losing my first true love and the "then" me, this young mother watching a strong, viral, handsome man passing into another world. The two me's don't often overlap in my current world because of where I live and the ages of my girls. Many don't know the "then" me or they might have heard, but let's face it--who wants to ask and bring up some sad story? So I appreciate your tender heart and that you want to know. 

Paige: My story...

13 years ago my husband Gregg lost his battle with cancer. He had been diagnosed with metastatic melanoma and was under treatment for 7 1/2 months before he passed away. Gregg and I were married for 5 years. During that time I graduated from nursing school, we bought a new house and a new car, he coached basketball and soccer, he taught high school and was also a youth pastor. I bought and ran a small business and we had 3 beautiful, perfect little girls together.

Gregg was one of those guys who could do everything and do it well. He was an exceptional athlete playing both college basketball and running track. He and I had began our relationship by running together. He trained for marathons while I trained for the half! He had a very fun and outgoing personality. He was very smart and romantic. He loved to send me flowers. He was so creative with our time together, often planning fun events for our dates and planning a wonderful honeymoon in the wine country. He loved to travel. He loved our convertible. He was loved and admired by so many. He was called "my best friend" by dozens of guys. He loved me and his precious little girls.

He was so brave while he faught that nasty disease. I truly believe that every day he fought, he believed he could beat it. He had hope no matter what the doctors told him, 13 years
sounds like a life time ago doesn't it? 

It's funny there are so many details from those days that I remember vividly.

~What I was wearing while we sat across from the doctor who gave us the devastating blow.
~The movie that ended just moments before he took his last breath. 

~There are more... but there are so many things I don't remember.

~I don't remember exactly who was in the hospital room with me as we watched him take             his last breath.

~I can't remember the last words we spoke to each other before he became unconscious.

Many of my friends that I have now didn't even know me back then, much less know of Gregg. Many of the people I have contact with now probably do not even know that I was a widow when I was 30 years old and all three of my girls were under the age of three.

But in these thirteen years I have learned many things.

That the Lord saw every tear and did hear every prayer that was lifted for Gregg.
That life isn't fair but we have a Savior who knows that. That I could make it, by simply getting out of bed each day and taking just one moment (literally) at a time. That I could raise these three little girls who would really never know how many people loved & prayed for them. That Gregg must be so proud as he watches Savannah, Madison & Emily from Heaven. That we will indeed see him again.

The Lord sent an amazing man into my life. Dan was Gregg's roomate.  Dan was actually in my wedding to Gregg! We fell in love a few years after Gregg passed.  I fully believe Gregg will give Dan a huge high five followed by a hug & say "Way to go man, who'da thought?"

Dan is my soul mate. I feel like he is the tangible love of our Heavenly Father.

I feel he shows , what are now four daughters the love of their Heavenly Father.

I am blessed....

The same God who was with me while I wept beside the grave was most definitely, emphatically, without a doubt the same God who was with me on my wedding day again years later. 

P and G:  Considering what you've been through in life, some may wonder how on earth you didn't turn away from God. What "kept you" in a relationship with Him after losing your first husband? 

Paige: Have you heard the song by Mercy Me?

The writer so eloquently states.....

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times.

Paige: Why didn't I turn from God?  How could I?

 He is the only true God.  I knew in my heart of hearts that He loved me. He loved Gregg.  He loved my babies.  But I know we live in a fallen world.  Sadly, sin and disease is a part of this earth.  We weren't created to live with horrible diseases & watch those we love waste away.  I know, one day every knee will bow & every tongue will most certainly confess HE is LORD. I don't understand the "whys."  And I'm quite certain I would never dare to stand before a Holy God and ask Him why awful, terrible, heartbreaking things happen. 

He is faithful.  He is my hope.  He is worthy of my praise....especially when my praise is a sacrifice.

P and G : How did you manage Motherhood and the demands of life by yourself with three precious angels under the age of three? How did you keep going with a three year old, a 19 month old and a 10 week old baby?

Paige : I truly believe I entertained angels during those days ....both during the end of his life and my days as a young widow.  I believe the Lord sent a couple of friends and families who loved on us in very real and very tangible ways.  They made meals, cookies for the girls, bought them clothes, held one while I nursed another. They wrapped me with their earthly arms, yet I know it was the love of my Heavenly Father flowing through them.  Reminding me He was still there with me....every day and that His mercies would indeed be new every morning.

I won't lie to you.  There were days I felt completely all alone.  I felt completely vulnerable.  I was afraid.  I knew of no one who could understand how I felt.  I feared how my little girls would thrive in a home with a single mom.  There were days when thoughts of the future completely washed me over and left me standing there stripped and fearful of the unknown. Daily I read His promises over and over.  I needed Him desperately and His peace which He promised would indeed pass all of my understanding.

P and G:  Tell me about Dan and about how the two of you came to be a family. I know how rare it is to find someone who will love you and your children and desire to create a family with all of you.


Paige: We began dating about two and half years later.  Dan was 41 years old when we married. He had never been married. He had never told another woman he loved her!  I felt like the Lord had just given me this pure man as an enormous gift.  A gift I often feel I don't  deserve.

Dan adopted my three daughters and they took his last name.  He treats them exactly as if they were his biological children. I can honestly tell you it was a seamless transition.

Savannah was 6 when we married. I'll never forgot her response when I told her. She said, "Mommy, I'll always love my Daddy, but I'm very glad God has sent us this new Daddy." When Dan adopted them, Savannah dropped her middle name and kept Gregg's last name as her new middle name. 

P and G:  Tears.

P and G: Did you feel like you had come into the full recompense of God when you met, married and were blessed with another little one together? 

Paige:  Dan and I had two miscarriages late in the first trimester before we had Caroline. That was a very painful time for me. But the Lord did bless us with Caroline--she is the spitting image of her Daddy, while Emily ( the youngest of my older three) is the spitting image of her biological Daddy.  I love that!

P and G: And your beautiful daughters, how did they adjust and ultimately choose to love and serve God as well?

Paige: My eldest daughter Savannah, and I currently disciple a group of middle schoolers at our church.  This is possibly one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed--watching her pour into these young girls some of what's been poured into her heart over the years.  I love watching her encourage them in their walk with the Lord! 

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth" ~ 3 John 1:4

P and G: Have you always had a relationship with the Lord? How would you describe your relationship with Him?

Paige: 

I feel that my relationship and growth with the Lord has been in four different phases of my life. I grew up in a christian home and became a christian as a little girl.  But when I was discipled in my early twenties by a mentor I feel like I really dug in and had a personal relationship with Him.

As a single mom, I felt my relationship was one of protection and guidance.

I feel that the last 10 years have possibly been the most significant in my daily dependence.

  

I mentioned earlier that we had two miscarriages.  I sometimes think I dealt with alot of the grief of Gregg's death actually during that time.  I wonder if I just felt that having Dan beside me I could actually grieve. I cried very little when Gregg was sick.  I was afraid if I started that I might not stop . Ever.  So I just sucked it up, pulled up my boot straps and did what needed to be done.  

The safety and security of my marriage now afforded me the safety net to grieve those losses.  During that time I also began a struggle with fear. Something that I still cope with now.  I guess having been a nurse for many years and taking care of cancer patients has left me with a vulnerability.

A couple of years ago I experienced the end of a lifelong friendship.  That was a very, very painful process. A loss I didn't quite understand. During this time I really needed the Lord to help me not only with healing but also with forgiveness.

Currently, I am knee deep in raising teenage daughters. (16, 14, 13)  I have never felt a more sense of urgency to teach them and to have them grounded in this truth.

"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God"    Ephesians 3.17-19

I can't imagine going through any stress and not having hope in the Lord. What else is there?  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that we have a Heavenly Father who longs to be in a relationship with us. The entire bible, chapter after chapter is His story of redemption, not only of His people but for all people.

P and G:  What words of hope and encouragement would you like to offer readers who feel as if God doesn't love them or worse that He has forgotten them?

Paige:   I think there are days and situations where we believe 'surely He will save us from a sad ending.' Whatever that sad ending might be. If we pray hard enough.  Promise to stop whatever sin we think might be the key. If we just have enough faith.  If we just listen to enough positive thinking.  Especially the speakers that quote all the health and wealth promises. If we cross our fingers, get up on the right side of the bed, endless lists of the "ifs." Then surely the "it" will be "and they lived happily ever after."

The happily ever after isn't truly on this side of Heaven.

I know we have the arms of a Jesus who loves us.  Who died so we can be with Him in glory one day.  In health and true joy. Until then....I will lift my eyes to the hills , my help comes from the Lord . He is an ever present God who loves us and will gently wipe away our tears one day and I will praise him now even if in sacrifice.

He is the same God.

Stories of Hope-Paige from gfc.tv Videos on Vimeo.

Dearest Paige,
Thank you for entrusting me with your story. What a honor. I pray that readers will be moved, inspired, touched and find their own faith growing by leaps and bounds. I pray that readers will begin to trust God on a new level for their own journey and I thank you again for your courage and for your willingness to share so that others may come to know Him through your incredible testimony. May He be glorified.




Please visit Paige at her beautiful blog : Simple Thoughts

Be Beautiful

Be beautiful. Yes you. Didn't you know that you are beautiful? You are. It is true. Don't hide it inside. Don't worry about what other people say or what they think. Allow that special part of you that has been hidden and tucked away to come out into the light.  Most often the negativity sent out by others has everything to do with them and very little to do with you. It has everything to do with them despising the light that is within you. Let it shine anyway. Be even more beautiful. Be a bright light for your Heavenly Father and a force of beauty to be reckoned with. You are the gift who can change the world. Pay no attention to those who have tried to strip away at your crown and your light and your beauty.

Be beautiful anyway......

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

By~ Marianne Williamson~ A Return to Love.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves

Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking

so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest

The glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;

It's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

Our Very Best

~




How do we give Him our very best?

In the midst of uncertain times? In the midst of tremendous suffering?  How do we give our very best in the midst of a job loss? A miscarriage?  Another betrayal? A loss of finances? Hurtful words?  A separation? A divorce? An illness?

How do we get up every, single morning and offer the One who created it all ..............our very best ?
This is not an easy thing.
It seems impossible.
We are after all...... merely human and everything human within us wants to give up at the 20 yard line and we tell ourselves that we cannot do this anymore. 

But we can.

I have learned (the hard way) that it is a simple act of worship.
It is a spiritual posture.
It is a choice.
We can choose to give up at the twenty. The thirty. And even the fifty. Or we can choose
to press in and press on keeping our eyes on Him and not on our situations and make it to the very end.

To choose to count it all joy no matter the circumstances. No matter how difficult. No matter how unfair it is. No matter how painful it is.
 I have learned over the years that when we are busy giving Him our very best instead of our very best leftovers we end up doing the very thing that we think we cannot do. The very thing.


When we press in and press on ~ instead of giving up~ pretty soon we will look up and find ourselves in the end zone. Maybe you and I will have to do the death crawl to get there. But we will get there friend.

I love this video clip from the movie Facing The Giants.  It really ministered to me and I pray that it speaks to you as well.  Picture yourself as the one doing the death crawl and picture that football field as your circumstances. Then imagine the coach in this movie as your Heavenly Father pushing you toward your goal.
I pray that this ministers to you and blesses you and encourages you today sweet friend.

Give Him your very best.....

~This post is dedicated to my incredible husband . Look up sweetheart, we are in the end zone........~

Our Own Hands

Photo credit: Martha Stewart

One week ago today almost 3 million individual lives were changed forever. In an instant. In a matter of seconds. Just like that. It doesn't seem fair. Not one bit. I have been able to think of little else for a solid week. Just like many of you, I can't watch the news any more . I'm either too sick to my stomach at the sheer devastation of it all or my heart is breaking into a million pieces for those precious  people~ especially the babies. I felt as if my heart was being ripped out of my chest as I watched a bulldozer scrape up hundreds of bodies and empty them into a dump truck. A bulldozer. A dump truck. Human beings. God's precious people. Mothers and Fathers. Sons and Daughters. I felt like I had been punched in the stomach.

 I want to get on a plane and go over there and scoop those babies up in my arms and tell them with everything that is in me that it's going to be okay and that God still loves them even though it looks like He doesn't.  I want to take whatever we have and give every single bit of it.  I want my Husband to take a week off from work and stay with our children so I can go to Haiti and hold babies and pray over them for God's mercy, protection and provision. It's not the first time he has heard these requests. This is life with a wife with a mercy gift.

The other night I kept him up talking about the devastation of it all and about how on earth we continue with life as normal when so many are suffering right now. Not only in Haiti, in many, many places. But especially Haiti. It doesn't seem right. We can't just get up tomorrow and carry on with "normal" for Heavens sake. There are children in Haiti about to have a leg cut off with a hacksaw because the airport is backed up and they can't get the medical supplies to the makeshift hospital. I can't wrap my brain around it all. Or my heart.

What can I do? I feel so helpless. So I pray. In praying this week one thing the Lord placed on my heart was that I should do whatever I can with my own hands. I can pray. I love to pray. I can give. I love to give. I can write to encourage others to do what they can. I love to write. I can collect clothes, blankets and other items to give as donations. I should do whatever I possibly can with my own hands. Not only for the earthquake victims but in every day life as well. It doesn't do anyone any good just to live life for a party of one. To sit on our gifts. To withhold our talents. He has called us to be like Him to one another. What are your gifts sweet reader? What are your talents? How can you give? What can you share with the world to help and to bring about healing in the life of another? How can you use what He has given you to be a blessing to someone else? These are just a few petitions we can bring before Him this week. I know Him to be faithful to highlight, show and even speak to our hearts the many ways in which each one of us can be a blessing to someone else this week with our very own hands. Can't wait to hear about what He places on your hearts.......

We can text "HAITI" to 90999 to automatically give to the American Red Cross.

Are You Going to Blissdom?

I am so looking forward to meeting everyone and soaking up every drop of wisdom from such an awesome group of speakers! Let me know if you are planning to attend! I would love the chance to meet you!

A great big thank you to Mr. Pearls and Grace for such a wonderful gift.........you made my heart sing!

A Surprise Inside 2010

In the early morning of the first day of the first month of a brand new beautiful year, we turned on some of our favorite music and turned it up loud. Really Loud. The children were so excited and were running around the house jumping and yelling and shouting and dancing as loud as the music we had roaring in the background. We then handed the children some little surprises.....

 

  "What is this Mama?" "Yea, what IS this?" "It's a stick!" one said. "YEAH...a stick, a stick!!" said another. And like a chain reaction, one by one they began jumping up and down and waving their shiny, new surprises around like majorettes on game day.

"Be careful baby.  There is a surprise inside."

Confetti and a lot of it was packed inside each silver stick......

And I thought to myself......How symbolic Lord.

One by one they shook their little sticks in every room in the house until there was "no surprise left."

I stopped in my tracks as I watched each one of them immediately scoop up the confetti and run upstairs to throw it over the banister to "recreate" the moment again.

And  I thought to myself ....How symbolic Lord.

Who among us wants the blessings to end? Who among us wants the fun to be over with?

It's called "Flutter Fetti" and it promises to float five times longer than regular confetti.

You didn't have to tell me twice. I bought two boxes. We had some celebrating to do. And no amount of "regular confetti" was going to do for this party. We were saying goodbye and ending a very rough year for our family. And we were saying hello to something brand new and very beautiful.

It did "float" a lot longer than the regular confetti but even Flutter Fetti eventually hits the ground.

As I watched the children I thought to myself.....

how symbolic Lord....

For hours on the morning of January 1, 2010 we danced away the sorrow and disappointment that had nearly broken us in 2009 and we rejoiced in the possibility, opportunity, potential, and possible "surprises" that God has in store for us in 2010.

I sat in the floor and watched my children raise their hands up in the air to "receive" and "catch" the hundreds of pieces of colored paper....

 and I thought to myself...how symbolic Lord.

I watched as they rolled around on the floor the entire morning creating "confetti-angels" with one another. I watched as they ran, jumped, rolled, danced, hugged and literally soaked up every second of the very first day of this new year.

 And I thought to myself....how symbolic Lord.

I laughed and laughed and laughed until I began to weep as my spirit began to bear witness

with what He was showing me.

He has not forgotten. He knows. He knows every single burden. Every single need. Every single worry and fear. He knows every single thing that the enemy has stolen from you and me. He knows every single disappointment and ounce of dispair that may have played a part of your 2009.  He knows about the loneliness that may have been your closest friend last year. He knows that longing inside your heart for a friend, a mate, a spouse, a husband. He knows that ache that cuts you to the core every time you see a new baby in someone else's arms.....and you go to bed one more night with empty arms. He knows. He knows all about the job that you still need and the breakthrough in finances that has yet to come. He knows about that house that needs to sell.......................and what might happen if it doesn't. He knows all about timing and details. He knows.

 

And just when we think it's over and we've shaken our own empty "Flutter Fetti stick " at the Lord. Just when we've done everything we can to make it work on our own, including scooping everything up with our own hands and taking matters into our own hands and trying to make things happen with our own hands ~ And just when we think this is it. It's just not going to happen for me. I guess this is as good as it gets for me Lord. I guess that it's just not meant to be..........

 God has a surprise inside.

Just like when the kids thought it was over and they were too tired to keep scooping up all that confetti with their own hands and running up the staircase to recreate the moment......

Daddy came through.

And I thought to myself...how symbolic Lord.

Meet the surprise.

This sweet readers is a wet/dry vac with an optional "blower" setting.

Did you know that your Heavenly Father has one? He does.

And he is about to use it in your life in the coming year. He has the ability to vacuum up any disappointment or dispair from the previous year and fill your life with every dream and desire in your heart and soul.  He also has the ability to switch the settings on every single thing in your life that looks like it's over, or looks like it is dead or looks like it has ended ~ He has the ability to switch the settings in your life and blow blessings beyond your wildest dreams into your circumstances. He has the ability to resurrect certain situations that seemed almost lifeless. He has the ability to breathe His breath~ the breath of life, into your situation and cause whatever didn't happen for you last year~ to happen for you this year~ plus double. Did you know that His word says that we get double honor for our former shame? It does. That's where the surprise is.

It's in this year. I pray that over you sweet reader. I pray that this year would be full to overflowing with the surprises of the Lord inside every single area of your life. I pray that for every pain from your past you will receive double honor for that former shame and receive it this year. In this beautiful, new year full of opportunity, promise, provision, restoration and recompense.

Instead of your former shame you shall have double honor....Isaiah 61:7

A Sugar Plum Fairy Birthday Party

We recently celebrated Bella Grace's 7th Birthday with a Sugar Plum Fairy Birthday Party! It isn't the easiest thing to have a birthday right around Christmas but each year I do my very best to come up with some wonderful way to honor and celebrate her!  She loves to decorate Gingerbread houses , loves to dress up  and loves all things pink and fluffy so this is what I created for her this year! I love creative and original birthday parties! I had so much fun staging this! There was pink tulle, sparkle snow, glitter and pink fluff as far as the eye could see! I loved watching eleven little girls all dressed in Sugar Plum costumes giggling and dancing and prancing around!  I downloaded the entire Nutcracker soundtrack and that played throughout the house during the party.The girls enjoyed a lunch of angel sandwiches, fruit kabobs on magic wands, pink lemonade and other Christmas goodies. Then everyone had the chance to decorate their own houses! At the very end Bella Grace sprinkled each house with sparkle snow and glitter! I think this was her very favorite birthday party ever. I cannot believe my little Sugar Plum is seven...trying to hold my heart in my chest. 

What Didn't Make The Card~ 2009