love I had never known. I felt loved. safe. protected. accepted and most importantly part of something for once in my life. I will never forget the day he proposed to not only me but to my daughter as well. As he went down on one knee and spoke words of life to my broken spirit and soul, I felt the Father's love. I felt as though God reached down and kissed me right on my forehead - it was as if HE were saying you are mine daughter and this is a gift for you- just because I love you I am giving you the innermost dream and desire of your heart-to belong to someone and to have a family of your own. That's the day I decided I would become the other kind of "chreaster". No longer would I sit and miss out on my blessings because of the lack of knowledge of others. God literally moved us the month of our wedding to the Northeast. It was here in the land of "the frozen chosen" that I experienced a new depth in God and found inner healing and many blessings for my thirsty soul. It has not been easy but I am thankful for it. I am thankful too for the beauty that this season brings and for all that it represents to me. For years I felt like mounds of dirt were piled on top of me. Now I feel that God may be causing something special to spring forth. I love the newness ,freshness and the beauty of Spring and for all the love that Easter represents. He Is Risen. He is alive. He has a plan. His promise comes every year with the gift of spring. That He is working and creating and arranging and orchestrating our lives. May you be blessed with your own spring awakening in this most glorious season.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Oh how I just love this time of year. Truly. Springtime just makes my heart sing. Even though it's still winter here in the northeast- the stores, catalogs, and flower shops all sing Springtime to me! I am one of those people. You know, some may call me a "Chreaster". One who loves to celebrate Christmas and Easter . I use to be a churchy "Chreaster"- the person who only attends on Christmas and Easter. But there were some good reasons. I had no reason to go really. I spent years thinking God was angry with me or worse, that He hated me. I also spent years believing the lie that I didn't belong there or that I wasn't good enough. After all, I felt I had been branded with the scarlet letter on my chest for having my first born gift at the age of 18 years old. I wasn't married and fresh out of high school. I had no idea the depth of judgement that would come my way. I also had no idea how absolutely madly and passionately in absolute love I would fall with my precious baby girl. In addition I had no idea just how much God did love me and there wasn't a lot of His love being demonstrated to tell me otherwise. I spent many years out of the church. I couldn't stand those church ladies. I despised their hurtful comments and was tired of being the target for their judgement and criticism. This went on for years, right there in the heart of the "bible belt". Why there is a church on every corner in Tennessee. There were cookouts and dinners and bible studies and family nights and on and on. But I can't recall one person who showed me the undeniable, irrefutable , irresistible love of God. That is until I met my husband. I could hardly believe this wonderful, gorgeous, successful man of God had room in his heart for not only me, but for my precious girl as well. I couldn't believe the level of love and acceptance I felt from him. He loved me and loved my daughter with a supernatural
Written by Sibi at 10:35 AM
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
I was humbled recently by something I heard in a sermon. I am always listening and trying to learn new things and ways to allow Him to shape and mold my character which is difficult- but then there are things that really "hit home". The part that this Pastor was talking about was regarding ministry and how so many folks want to "be great" and "do big things for God" and so on but-- how many of us would be willing to be involved in a silent ministry? Really behind the scenes,etc. One idea in particular that he mentioned was "the ministry of protecting the reputation of others"...
Including gossip, slander, malice, repaying evil for evil and not allowing anyone to say anything negative TO you about anyone else. If they tried, you would suggest that they go to that person and tell them directly. He went on to say how important this was- whether it was friends, family or pastors, etc. I agreed but I was challenged. Yes, absolutely! Protect the innocent, protect the reputation of those who have been wronged, hurt or wounded. Protect those who are very young and who are very old and need our assistance. But....... I wanted to raise my hand in church! Pastor, what about protecting the reputation of those who have hurt me? What about protecting those who have hurt not only me
but my family? What about when unfair things happen or when people try to use you to get what they want? Or what about the rude and insensitive folks who love to judge and criticize and put people down because they feel that they are so much better than others? I don't have to protect their reputation, right? I didn't raise my hand in church. I didn't have to. The following scripture came back to my remembrance.
"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those
who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you
may be sons of your Father in Heaven;" -Matt: 5:43-45
Written by Sibi at 6:03 AM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Trying to get organized more and more each day. Today I want to tackle
the pantry and kitchen cabinets. I love to organize and feel like a weight
has been lifted off of me when I open a beautiful and orderly drawer, cabinet,etc.
More than this I love to label things. I will label anything that will hold still
long enough, and not just any label either. I love to create labels and make
up things to print out on my p-touch machine. I think this is the "Martha"
in me. Love is in the details...you know it's true. I get complete and absolute
joy out of creating things and doing things in a very detailed manner.
It is not always easy but I love it. I so enjoy making everything in my path
beautiful for myself and my family to enjoy.
Sometimes it comes out through my photography, sometimes through
my flower arrangements, sometimes through my party planning, other
times through teachings and writings and almost daily in my parenting with
my children. I love to think outside the box. To do things and create
things that are new, fresh and that strike beautiful emotions in others.
Love IS in the details.
Written by Sibi at 6:49 AM
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
What a tremendous blessing and incredible way to start off the new year!
We recently found out that we are expecting our FIFTH gift! We couldn't
be any more excited and are so looking forward to meeting our
newest family member!
I am three months along and feel so blessed to assist God in this miracle....
A wise woman prayed for me recently and spoke over me that this child
is very significant because it is our fifth child and FIVE represents Gods'
full hand upon our lives- His full blessing and full grace.
In the meantime, He has blessed my husband with a new job and we will
be moving in June to a new place after our oldest graduates from high school.
So we have put our house on the market, and are making plans to move,
find new schools, etc. and the whole nine yards. All of these "new "
things have allowed us the opportunity to trust HIM deeper than ever before
and to press forward. We are excited and a little worried all at the same time!
We are prayerful that this is the right decision for our growing family and
continue to walk out our faith daily. Some days, are a little harder than others
but our prayer has been- your perfect will. Not ours Lord. Not, your permissive
will- but your perfect will be done.......
Written by Sibi at 8:49 AM